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The Menagerie with Connie and Michael

• Siobhan • Season 1 • Episode 19

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This week I’m on location! Home Connie and Michael and birthplace of The Menagerie. We talk about how and why they started The Menagerie and Connie shares just how close we were to loosing her. Lucky for all of us her badassery and the love of a good man has kept her healthy and thriving! This is a short one and both will be back for longer more in-depth convo about all things peculiar and odd. Enjoy and hope to see many of you at World Goth day this Saturday May 6 in Vallejo !!!

Summary/Time Stamps: 

  • Welcome to the Menagerie. 0:09
    • Ginger shots with a wind chaser.
    • The start of the menagerie.
  • Is it still fun getting 40 events a year? 2:35
    • Growing from california to all over the state.
    • The menagerie is always evolving.
    • Legacy events are fun because people plan on going.
    • World golf day is a marketing partnership.
  • Gothic subculture is an untapped market. 8:35
    • The gothic subculture is an untapped market.
    • The community is growing and growing.
    • Working with local producers to promote and put on shows.
    • Pop-ups outside of the area this year.
    • Getting out of alameda and finding a bigger venue.
    • First event in san francisco this year.
  • What’s coming up at the San Francisco Mint. 15:16
    • San francisco mint and terror vault event details.
    • How to choose one thing to be good at.
    • Finding mentors and meeting people in the strangest places.
    • Becoming one of the top artists.
  • The first two markets were highly curated. The third market had to be postponed twice before it was ready. 21:30
    • Security to market. First two markets were highly curated.
    • Covid hit first three markets.
    • Getting back to curating the market in 2022.
    • The menagerie makes her so good.
  • What she used to do for World Golf Championship. 26:13
    • Doing everything for the last four years.
    • Being an accountant for 30 years.
    • Aortic dissection is a widowmaker.
    • 90% of people with an aortic emergency do not survive.
  • How the menagerie changed her life. 30:34
    • The grieving process of being diagnosed with agoraphobia.
    • The fear of leaving the house.
    • Five years of the menagerie has changed her life.
    • Working for yourself is challenging.
  • How did you know what was going on? 35:13
    • How she knew she was having a heart attack.
    • How she got to alameda hospital.
    • Aortic dissection at Stanford and UCSF.
    • Aorta dissection and aortic surgery.
  • The only way to tell if someone’s having an aneurysm, rupture or dissection is through imaging. 41:19
    • Depeche mode and Alan Thicke died from dissection.
    • The importance of regular scans.
    • Double barrel dissection of the aorta.
    • Exercises and blood pressure.
  • The only other option is to wallow.
Michael:

See? We're afternoon.

Siobhan:

Yes, technically I just wanna make sure I can hear y'all. It should be fine ginger

Connie:

shots with a Wind Chaser.

Siobhan:

Happy Sunday. All right, actually, what was that? That's just that's good. All right. Well welcome y'all this week where our or I'm remote. I'm at the menagerie headquarters. I am live here with Connie and Michael. And we're going to talk all things dark arts, I think. Sounds good. Yeah. Welcome. Thank you. How did you all you guys have started the menagerie? How long? Is it three years or? This is our fifth anniversary? Anniversary? Yeah. So what made you start the menagerie like what because you mean kind of you've been about us your entire life, I think.

Connie:

I was making weird art for a while out of dolls. I was making assemblage art. And my, my art just didn't sell at a normal market. I did like the blues brews and barbecue festival in Alameda. And I couldn't sell anything, I would make like 100 bucks. And people would walk by and they'd say, you know, that's creepy. Or we do we did like a festival and in Niles and almost died because it was so hot. And I would vent at the golf clubs till two in the morning, and it was just a lot of work. And so we just needed a place to sell my art. And, you know, we've ended like Edwardian ball. And that's a spectacle that you go to to have fun. It wasn't gonna buy. Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't market driven are specifically for vendors. So we had gone to an event down in Southern California, the oddities flea market, and we were down there. And on the way back, I told Michael, I said, nobody's doing this in the Bay Area. We should do it. And so we did. And not only were there artists looking for a place to sell their art, but there were people looking for an event to buy art. Like that. So it just, it just grew from there.

Siobhan:

It's amazing, because now you are I mean, you go everywhere. You're not just in California anymore. Right? You have shows and

Connie:

no this we're still in California are still in California, we had, we thought that we would make it out of state this year, we still might make it out of state. We're working on something. But we we got a bunch of new venues in California. And so we're at 11 shows this year in the state that's big shows and shows. Right, and then we have I think we've got a total of 30 pop up. So we're over 40 events total. Wow, that worth that we're hosting. And then, you know, we still are eventing, other people's events, just to, you know, Michael and I with the trailer just to go out and and do it ourselves, you know, it's still fun to go be vendors, you know, so

Siobhan:

is it still do? Is it still fun getting I mean, 40 events is a lot of events is

Connie:

Yeah, it is. It's still fun, it is still fun next year, next year, I mean, our business is always evolving. And it has to for several reasons, it needs to evolve because the public, and the industry evolves. And then I mean, you just never know what people are going to be into, or what the economy is going to bring, or what's going to be trendy or popular. So next year, our focus is entirely different than it is this year. And also, you know, we've had a lot of not competition, but a lot of people trying to, to do what we do. And so we have to kind of stay one step ahead of that to make our Market Fresh, and keep our audience coming back. Otherwise, it just gets old and boring. And then our attendance falls. And so, you know, our our artists are really counting on us to produce the numbers. You know, when you produce an event, you're not just putting it on but you're also bringing in the numbers for the artists. You know, there's a lot of responsibility there and I don't think that other events are taking that into consideration.

Siobhan:

You because you've had people that are starting To try to rip you off kind of right like,

Connie:

yeah, blatantly? Yeah. Yeah. Artists, entertainment, everything. They're just not calling themselves a menagerie. So I mean, we've had we've had attendees come to our events, and they're like, Yeah, we went to this event last week. And you know, it just, yeah. They're there. And we're like, Well, yeah, it wasn't one of our events.

Michael:

The problem is people start associating me, the vendors with

Connie:

ours. And then yeah, so

Siobhan:

so then you have so the 40 events is just the menagerie, right? Because then you have world class. Stay on top of that.

Connie:

Is the menagerie okay?

Michael:

Yeah, that's just that's just one particular theme, because every event is themed.

Connie:

Oh, okay. Those are all themed events, right. And that's kind of what sets us apart from some of the other events that are out there.

Siobhan:

And then it's this year is the third annual World Health Day, right?

Connie:

It's the third Yeah, so these legacy events are fun, because, you know, people know that they're going to happen. And, you know, they, they plan on going we have people we have people that come from all over the US now there's a there's a mother and daughter that are coming from Rhode Island. And actually her sister's coming. I think she said her Texas

Michael:

jersey. Yeah. So she they plan their vacations on when we have our menageries

Connie:

they come to all the events. It's kind of

Michael:

and she was at our pop up yesterday. Yeah,

Connie:

she came to the pop up yesterday. In Santa Rosa, Santa Rosa was a good place to have a pop up. It is It was fun. The people like us there.

Michael:

It was a fun town.

Connie:

Shady, shady. Oh,

Siobhan:

yeah. Oh, nice. I was going to try to come down to it. And then I had to work.

Connie:

It's fun. It's just a lot of fun. And that's just vendors, you know, we don't have any entertainment. And Michael was the DJ, he had, he had his playlist out there. So you know, he press play. I think we had like 18 or 20 vendors with us, they all have a good time, you know, just, you know, the pop ups are, you know, we call them peculiar pop ups. So we take between the shows, we take anywhere between, I think the smallest we've had is 1010 to 20, maybe 30 artists on the road with us, and we partner with a small business. So we bring our following to a small business to partner with for the day. And it's a marketing partnership. You know, small businesses don't have large marketing resources, and advertising on social media advertising in magazines or web, it's expensive. And it's confusing, you really don't know what you're getting. Right? You know, you don't you they show you analytics, and you have no fucking idea what you're looking at. And nobody wants to teach it to you. Because if they teach it to you, then they're out of a job. Right? Right. So, you know, we pull our marketing resources together. And you know, we, we bring our followers into their business, and they have a couple beers, and they spend some money. And then their followers come and we meet new people. So we all create exposure for one another, the artists have, you know, new customers, and we get to tell people about our next event. And so that's what yesterday was about. It was about building community and creating exposure for World

Siobhan:

Golf day. Nice. Yeah. Because it's like, the kind of golf community and the oddity, the people that come are so kind and nice. But I imagine that some places are a little like, put off by the themes, or some, I mean, you pick places that go along with your theme. So that makes you know, like, last year won the Hornets like the haunted place and like to see all those people come out and just have like, a great time. It seems like it's kind of an untapped market in some ways, because they don't have a lot of events. Yeah, from an outsider point of view.

Connie:

Yeah. So you know, the Gothic subculture has always been one of those groups. We know one of those genres that people have always looked down their nose at, you know, and I remember back in the 80s, you know, in the early 80s, you know, being a kid, and, you know, people would chase us and throw eggs at us and spit on us, you know, just and it you know, it's still kind of the same way people still look down their noses at you know, at our, at our culture

Michael:

when I was growing up the worst part of my day was walking home from school because there'll be cars driving by calling you this that throwing shit at you out the window.

Connie:

Yeah. And a lot of people in our, you know, in our community, you know, like, trans or Okay, or, you know, minority people, you know, people of color, they, within that genre they really got picked on. And that's still true today, but they're more embraced within our community than ever. You know, there's a place for them now. And so I think we all stick together. Do we all stick together?

Siobhan:

Yeah. I mean, you're creating a community, like that's just growing and growing and giving people a place to feel welcome and to sell art and to do this, like, mainstream and it'll say, and to feel safe, to feel safe where you're at? Yeah. And that's an incredible gift that you guys are giving to all of us. Like, I have done so much. Great art for three you guys. Yeah,

Connie:

I mean, look around our house we have we have

Michael:

all our artists, including my wife, artists, yeah, all the stuff I don't want her to sell, but it's gonna go at some point.

Connie:

And there's a couple of really good, you know, producers out there that are that are hosting shows in the Bay Area and in the central valley that we work with locally. To help them promote and put on shows too. So we have we've done some shows with Lindsay Marquette out and Stockton. And you know, I help her find artists and

Michael:

give her Maria where why soaps? Yeah, it's a good show.

Connie:

And, you know, I'm helping her grow her business a little bit in different ways, you know, and I'll be working with haunted banner in May, doing halfway to Halloween event. So that's right after World Class Day. Yeah. So far after that. We're just gonna do a really small pop up market at the alfresco dining Park. So it'll be my first market back in Alameda since last year. And I think that's probably going to be the only one I'll be doing. That's all we have this year. Yeah. Because the

Michael:

same you can't do a market and same place too often. Otherwise, nobody wants to go anymore,

Connie:

right? Yeah. And it's just more Alameda is oversaturated. The East Bay is oversaturated. So all of our pop ups are basically outside of the area this year. I think we're doing one and the

Michael:

next one next week is going to be an Auburn. Okay. Yeah. Which we're not going to be at because our grandsons being born. So we're going to be up there.

Connie:

We're doing one in an Oakland, we're doing our Victorian market. That one's in August, and I think we have a pop up at the ghost town brewing. That's the one. Yeah, that's a fun one.

Siobhan:

Why so is that one of the reasons why you moved werewolf golf day was because last year it was on the Hornet, which seemed like it ran really well and was well attended. And this year, it's out in Vallejo. That

Connie:

was one of the reasons. The other reason was that we kind of wanted to see, to get it out of you know, get it out of Alameda. But also, we needed a bigger venue than just like the ops Lodge. Or, I mean, there's no where else in Alameda except for the Hornet that can host that money that CO hosts that many people and have the right aesthetic to right. Oh, yeah. Because it's important. And so, you know, when we're looking around for venues, there's not a lot of offerings in the Bay Area that will accommodate our type of event that are still I would say, small business friendly, that don't require a you to use all of their labor and remain autonomous. You know, San Francisco wants you to use all labor union workers, and it gets really expensive to host an event where we

Michael:

just can't do it where mom and pop shop like

Connie:

us. Yeah, I mean, you know, our tickets are for the concert, or, you know, they're$50 but you get entrance to the market with that. And you get three bands and will for because I'm woman is playing also she's part of the market. We're

Michael:

pulling a band from the UK for this. Yeah, I'm from LA

Connie:

and we have six DJs. And we have, you know, amazing exhibits and stuff. You know, so concert for festival, you know, 50 bucks is really reasonable. But if we were to go to the city to do something like that, I mean that's why tickets to events like the Edwardian ball or, you know, some of these other places are so high because it costs a lot of money to produce these events when I get online and I see people complaining because ticket prices are high for some of these shows. I just I get it upsets me because they don't have any people don't have any idea what goes into producing these events. You know,

Michael:

that's not to say say that we're not going to do an event in San Francisco this year. Oh, no,

Connie:

we didn't know. Is that a plug? Is that a segue into? Yeah, why not? Yeah, yeah. So we are, we are doing our first event in San Francisco, it's for Halloween or Halloween show.

Michael:

This is an exclusive.

Connie:

I'm getting the scoop. I love it. Tober, 14th and 15th. And it's going to be at the San Francisco Mint. We were invited to, to host an event out at the terror vault. So our event will be during the day. taraval does that night peaches, Christ was very lovely, and invited us out to participate during their October.

Siobhan:

Yeah, that's really exciting.

Connie:

It is really exciting.

Michael:

And I don't know if you've seen this place, but it's literally the Old San Francisco Mint. It's a huge building. It's

Connie:

a historic building. And it's just amazing. And so, yeah, there's a lot involved, that's gonna go into it. And we're gonna work with some amazing show people and artists. And, yeah, it's gonna be a big deal.

Siobhan:

That's amazing. Like you all are. So like, because both of you work so hard at all of this. And it's so to see like things coming. Because we were just talking about how you helping this woman with her, like event company, and like the fact that people rip you off. Like, if they just called and asked, you would give them help, you know what I mean? Like, so that, to me is like, you guys will get rewarded for all your hard work, and grow even more. And those other people that are trying to rip you off are just gonna go to the wayside.

Connie:

You know, everybody has everybody is good at something, right? You can't be good at everything, right? So if you're trying to be good at everything, ultimately, it's going to hurt somebody. So I think that if you if you have something that you're good at, you should probably stick to it, and let other people do what they're good at doing.

Siobhan:

What you're good at, I mean, that's easy for you, because you're good at so many things.

Connie:

That the event production has a lot of little things that you do with it. That's what I'm good at doing. I'm not good at being an artist and an event producer, because my art now is I don't get to be an artist anymore. This one. I mean, that's what I said, you know, you have to choose, you have to choose one thing to be good at because you can't, it's impossible, something always suffers. Right. You know, it's been hard to juggle everything. And so I have a lot of people that rely on me, you know, like I said, to produce those shows and get those people there. So

Michael:

I had vendors quit their day jobs, not just to do menagerie events, but they're getting to the point where they can do this full time. Yeah, they

Connie:

do menagerie, and then they do some other events. And that's their year. That's,

Siobhan:

that's amazing. Because you're helping people like not only find, but follow their passion, and then make a living out of it. But it has to be stressful.

Connie:

It's been stressful, but we've found ways and we've met people who have helped us just like we're helping other people around. Yeah, it all goes around depends on who you surround yourself with, you know, we've been fortunate to have to have found mentors, and you know, you meet people in just the strangest places, I met somebody out of another show in Southern California, just somebody passing by that, you know, poke their head and and they were like, Oh, I sold T shirts and and then we got to talking and they were really interested in the, in the whole golf day, the fact that we did a, you know, a market and rd show, plus we had music, and they do music. And then so we got to talking and, you know, we started a new production company with them. So, yeah, so next year, we have, you know, we started servicing our company with the new production company, and we're hoping to get other, you know, clients on board, and then next year, we have, you know, bigger plans for the menagerie and, and that company to company. So, you know, that's when we'll really be taking things on the road.

Siobhan:

Right? Because eventually would you like to take them on as you like, all across the country? Uh, huh.

Michael:

To, to a degree to become one of these traveling shows that has 200 vendors. Yeah, no, we always want to find those. And we become a number. Yeah, we'd like to have hands on, you know, some personal relationships with everybody that we have, right? And we get to know everybody by name. People didn't know us by name. You know, we've been the other big events. And I think that's It hurts you. Yeah. Like it hurts both people, both sides.

Siobhan:

So like, when you go when you I mean, I don't know if you've thought through this yet or not, but like when you go to a different state, would you try to find all local artists from that? Or would you bring all your California artists? We know, your mix? Yeah, like a

Connie:

handful of artists with us. And then we will pull from the local. Yeah, the local area. And, you know, we've gotten our business down to where it's fairly turnkey. But it's really not fair to go to another community and not have artists from that area. You know, one of the things that we learned, like when we did Brookdale last year was that there were a lot of people who wanted to come there and that event. And this is true, like in Sacramento, too, or Nevada City, when we did these events that were outside of the area. We do have some people that come from Sacramento or from Northern California. I have a few people that come from the Santa Cruz area, they're already on the roster. They're already attending these events. But we had more people come out of the woodwork that wanted to vent. They just weren't the right fit. They weren't you know, they're not the right. They didn't have the right aesthetic and the right artwork. And

Michael:

it doesn't mean that you're not a great artist, but just doesn't fit within what we're doing.

Siobhan:

Right. Yeah, cuz you guys curate, like a very specific look. And have you

Michael:

come up to me? And she said, Is this security to market? I said yes. Why? She said, because every vendor has been so nice, so friendly. Their work is like so amazing. And that was kind of like a validation. Yeah, of what's going on the first use and curating the

Connie:

first. The first two markets were highly curated that we did the first year, and then COVID hit first three markets, the third market, we had to postpone like a month before it was ready to happen. And you know, we postponed it, what two or three times before we were given the alfresco dining Park. And at that point, we needed more vendors to fill it because we go 35 vendors is what it was, it was 35 vendors, 35 to 40 vendors, and it was basically like fine art. I mean, we had some it was just we had some really fine artists and, you know, paper mache. And it was it was Yeah, and and so there were so many artists, that first year of the pandemic that came out, and shop owners and, you know, authors and everybody needed a place to sell. And it was really difficult turning people away, and so I didn't, okay. And it really muddied the water. And so 2021 happened. And then 2022 We had, we didn't know what was going to happen. And people, you know, my artists from like New York and Seattle, and Portland and Los Angeles, they still weren't traveling at the beginning of 2022. So we had half of the year, we still had all the vendors from 2021, kind of intermingled with 2022. But you know, at the end, you know, toward the middle and end of 2022, I had to get back to curating the market, because I had no attendees who were like, This is not oddities and curiosities. This is a craft market. I literally had people writing for their money back. Wow. Yeah. And, you know, what can I say? Right? And I had vendors saying, You know what, this is not, this is not the way that it was, you know, when are you going to do something? And then I also had vendors who were not following the rules. These were not original vendors. I had vendors who were not, you know, treating other vendors, you know, kindly. I had vendors who were not treating my staff kindly. And so at the end, toward the end of the year, I just sent, you know, 200 emails out that said, it was great working with everyone, we're going to curate this way. And not everybody is going to fit what we're looking for. There's a lot of great markets out there. We wish everybody well, and I think that we've gotten back to you know, I mean, not everybody can see what our what our market lists look like this year. I

Michael:

like steering the ship straight again. Yeah, we've

Connie:

got a lot of really great artists. A lot of new artists. So I'm excited. Yeah. And I know the artists that are in the menagerie that know who, you know, know what the lists look like, they're really excited because it's, you know, they're working alongside their peers again. So,

Siobhan:

and you're keeping your community like kind of safe and knowing that, okay, we made of, we were trying to help some other people, but we were going to

Connie:

focus on it's time to get back to what you know, about what our vision was about what our mission was about. And, you know, everybody needs to get back to, you know, not normal now. But life. Right.

Michael:

Getting back to that, but still moving forward.

Siobhan:

Yeah. What did you do before that you before the menagerie that makes you so good at being able to do all of these like, little, kind of some of it is really mundane, and like tedious work that you have to do. And people sometimes don't realize that, like you said, like to throw an event if anyone ever thinks about, like, having a dinner party and all the work that goes into that. And that's just your people at your house, and but you're throwing an event for, like 2000 people to come through. Yeah, and you're organizing all these other adults and trying to get them just stay. I don't

Connie:

think that everybody realizes it. But for, for the last four years, I did everything. So I did all the vendor coordination, I did all the marketing, I did. All the social media, there were times that I did the artwork on Canva. That's why it looks so hacked. Because I'm not a graphic designer. You know, I did, I did everything and, and it was really hard work. And I have a great appreciation for anyone who does any one of those jobs. We're at a point now where I can afford to, we can afford to contract some of those things out. And so that's been a really huge help, especially with World Golf today, because it is a huge event. So what I did what I used to do, I don't think a lot of people realize that I'm in my mid 50s. And so for 30 years, I was an accountant in different industries. So I worked corporate, and I also did small business, I worked with design agencies, which helps with the marketing and advertising. And I've worked at I worked at a couple of marketing agencies too. So that you know, it's just come in really handy that way. And I worked with some nonprofits, and I've worked. Gosh, I don't know, I've been working since I was like 14 or 15. So, you know, I've just worked all my life almost. And you know, I've worked in the restaurant industry, I've worked. I mean, my kids when they were in school, I volunteered on everything, you know, event wise, I've always done art markets. So like, when my kids were in school, I did the carnival, I was on the Carnival committee. So I did the carnival. And you know, that was getting sponsors and it was finding people to do whatever and then I did band boosters. And was always kind of the weird one, but I got things done. So you know, and then, you know, i Whenever someone got married I you know, I helped plan the wedding or when we got married. I planned the entire wedding. Did all the decorations, you know, so

Siobhan:

did you guys have a goth wedding? Yeah,

Michael:

we'll play the wedding.

Siobhan:

Oh, yeah. I've never seen it was

Michael:

like a six minute video.

Connie:

Yeah, yeah, Michaels. The reptile has played and we played

Michael:

for the wedding.

Siobhan:

Nice. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun. It was a lot of fun. Because you all met, like, how long ago? How long have you guys been together?

Michael:

Today? Is our anniversary. Oh, happy

Siobhan:

anniversary. Seven years.

Connie:

Sorry. It's already been married. Seven year wedding. A lot of surgeries. Yeah, this year, we have a lot of anniversaries. So this year is my 10th 10th Your aorta bursary. So almost like, next month, almost a month away? Is when I suffered an aortic dissection. So that's 10 years. That's a

Michael:

big one because she's alive and well. Yeah.

Siobhan:

Because yeah, that almost killed you. Yeah. That usually kills most people. Right? It's a Widowmaker. Right? Isn't that what they also call it? No, no, that's a different one have

Connie:

anything to do with your heart. Oh, that's why the misconception about why the which is why the mortality rate is so high.

Michael:

It's its own Oregon. Yeah. It's a separate organ from the heart. It carries

Connie:

all the blood from your body, from your heart. To the rest of your body to your organs and your extremities and stuff. So 90% of the people who have an aortic emergency do not survive.

Michael:

They don't leave the hospital, the next statistic is what?

Connie:

Well, 80% of the people who have one, don't make it to the hospital of the 20% that do only 10% Leave. And of that 10% Only 1% have medically managed dissection, which is what I have. So

Michael:

you look at those numbers. That's yeah,

Siobhan:

that's yeah. I mean, was that I know, it was life changing, but like, how did it change your whole life? Like,

Connie:

you know what, I don't even I just do now. I just do and that didn't come naturally, at all. That that was a process even learning how to do that. Because when you are faced with any kind of, I think, anybody, it's human nature to just wallow in that mourning process, that grieving process. And I you know, I went from being a very into independent, healthy, fit 43 year old woman to being you can't work you. We don't know if you're gonna live. We don't know what's going to happen to you. I mean, literally, Stanford sent me home with a bag of medicine and said, Take this. And that was it. I had and this is true. Anybody will tell you when you have some type of illness, they don't give you any type of emotional care. Right. And it's traumatizing you know. So I had to learn how to deal with that. And it I was a wreck, probably for like a year and a half. I had PTSD really bad

Michael:

image for three months after this happened. Yeah.

Connie:

I'm agoraphobic. So after these big events. I was just talking to one of my vendors. She told me that she was to after these big events, I have to detach and

Siobhan:

wait, oh, no, I'm sorry, my jaws on the floor. I know you're kind of a homebody, but I would never have expected that you are agoraphobic.

Connie:

A lot of people think that agoraphobic is you can't leave your house. Agoraphobia is a fear of. And so I cannot. I went through years of therapy, but I yeah, I don't drive. I like to just, yeah. I like, you know, that's one of the things that the menagerie has been has done for me is, it's gotten me back out, you know, into the world again,

Siobhan:

right. So big time.

Connie:

Yeah. So you know, having that having the dissection changed me in a lot of ways. That's why I was saying I just do now. And, you know, five years of the menagerie has forced me to be out there. And, and I just do, and I just keep going forward. And that's why I said, you know, like, these people rely on me, right? And it gives me it doesn't just give me something to do. It gives me a reason to do it. So I really enjoy. I enjoy what I do. And it gives me a purpose. You know, yeah, I could do it anywhere. If we had to move or if we decided to move. I could do the menagerie from anywhere. I mean, we've gone on vacation, right? And we were just in Mexico for a week just to rest and relax. But we took our work with us pretty

Michael:

well got the r&r. Yeah, the work.

Siobhan:

Yeah, well, when you're working for yourself, I think you kind of always are working in a way like you have to learn how to relax a little bit

Michael:

yesterday. Were getting ready to watch TV at nine o'clock in the evening. She said I'll be right back for the next two hours she was working but that's the nature of the beast. I had to

Connie:

get events posted or just an event post up because I'm we've got back to back events coming up. And I just wanted to get them out there and the pages up because I've got to promote the other events that are coming right. I had to get them out there. Up and out so that I can move on to the next thing it's it's challenging.

Siobhan:

Were you agoraphobic before the dissection or was that after

Connie:

I had I've always had like claustrophobia and I don't like snakes. And you know I I've always had a challenge I've always been challenged driving. I had a really bad panic attack once in the fog of driving has always kind of freaked me out but after the day Section I just got to the point where I thought, because I was gonna go running when I had my dissection, and they told me that if I had gone running, I would have died.

Siobhan:

So did you have certain nuts? But did you have like symptoms? Like how did you know what was wrong? You know, I,

Connie:

I went out to my car to grab my running shoes. And I used to I used to live over off of your park and climate. Okay. So I just went out of my roommates apartment and went to grab my shoes, and I was walking back in and I felt this just it was just a paralyzing pain in my back across my back. And my chest was pounding my felt like my heart was doing this weird flip flopping thing. And so I made it back inside. And I said, I think you should call 911 I think I'm having a heart attack. And so she said that I She's like, Oh my God, you look great. And she called 911. And the ambulance got there. And they took my blood pressure and my blood pressure was like, I don't know, 260 over 120 or something. And so right there when I have it, right, whatever it was, it was in stroke territory, that that's what the EMT said, you know, and they did an EKG which measures the electricity of your heart. And He said to the captain, you know, her EKG is normal, should be transporter, and the captain said no, she's gonna stroke out because my blood pressure was so high. And and so he said, I was like, take me to the ER, you know, I have great insurance. Just because my dad had heart disease. And you know, I saw I there was a family history of heart disease. That's why I thought I was having a heart attack, because I knew what the symptoms could be. And I knew they were different for women. So I knew something was going on. And I had started smoking like, two years before that. Beard, right. I started.

Siobhan:

Like, I would go from 40s and you start smoking.

Connie:

Yeah. Well, I went through divorce and my dad died. I'm gonna smoke. Well, I would go for a run. And the last mile back. I was like, oh, yeah, man, I can't wait to get home and have that cigarette.

Siobhan:

At least you were running. So I

Michael:

used to play tennis with a cigarette in his mouth.

Connie:

70s Oh, yeah. But yeah, they took me to Alameda hospital and there was a cardiac, a cardiologist there. And even when they were, even when they were assessing me in the emergency room, I kept asking the nurse, you know, what are they looking for? And she said, Well, they're, they're looking for a dissection. But you don't have one of those because you're too young. And I didn't think anything of it. I was like, fuck is that, you know? And they, the doctor kept coming in like every two seconds. And then they took me out for a CAT scan. And they stopped in the middle and they took me back down. And the cardiologist never left. He went out once and I heard him say, Order Transporter, calm and see they have a helicopter order transport from Stanford or UCSF. And I said to my roommate, is he talking about me? It's just a no, I think she's talking. I think he's talking about the lady next door because the lady next door was screaming her head off about something. And he came back in, he said, he said, Okay, do you want the good news or bad news? I was just like, fuck me. And I said, Give me the bad news. And he said, you're having an aortic dissection. And all I could think of was aorta heart, and dissection, cutting a frog open an eighth grade and free and I started crying and he yelled at me and he said, I need you to help me save your life if I can thought I was gonna die, right. And all I could think about was my kids. I'm not seeing them. And I mean, that's all I had. I was single. I just had my kids you know? And I got some really hot nurses to take me down with your blood pressure some Really hot EMTs

Michael:

she needs to make sure you're okay, that I was

Connie:

there for a week. It was the oddest thing because I'm at the best hospital in the world, one of them and they couldn't tell me anything. And that was bizarre to me. Because there's not a lot they can do, when the biggest blood vessel in your body is going to explode, so they can cut you open. And the surgery that they do is life threatening itself. So they only do it. And they only do it if they have to. Yeah, so I had stayed there. While my aorta was dissecting, I could feel it. And they just kept me pumped full of blood pressure meds to keep the blood pressure down. I didn't sleep for three days, I was afraid to go to sleep, because I didn't think I was gonna wake up. And then finally, they were like, if you don't go to sleep, or can I give you sleeping pills. And up to that point, I never took any medication, I wouldn't even take Tylenol. And then here, they were, like, I have a picture of my arm. And I had like 20 tubes coming out of it. So yeah, that just that whole, that whole year, that whole experience, it just I think you could probably go one way or the other. And you probably go one way or the other many times when you're finding your, your journey or your purpose or, you know, but I just keep going. And just keep going and doing and they may not always be right. But it's right for me. And it's right for my goal. So yeah, you know, and 10 years is a long time because they said if I made it past five years, then that was a that was a big milestone that was a milestone. So it's stable I go, now go every two years for scans. So educational point here, the only the only way to tell if someone's having an aortic emergency. An aneurysm or rupture or dissection is through imaging, which is ultrasound, CT or MRI. And a lot of people have these. The one of the musicians in Depeche Mode just died from this

Michael:

is a good PSA.

Connie:

They just had this, they just released an album called memento mori. And they started on this tour, the Andy Fletcher died from lung. And the media will report it as a heart condition. And a lot of times first responders don't even know what they're treating your emergency room personnel, they don't know what they're treating, they give a patient the wrong medications and they can bleed

Michael:

out and you're dead.

Connie:

They diagnose you with the wrong thing, muscle pain or something and they send you home and you die in your sleep. It's not their fault, right? The problem is, is that the basic imaging that's out there is just not available, and there's no good reason why it's not available. If they made it available, you know, and just looked for whatever's wrong with us. At the moment that we're in the hospital or in the emergency room. You know, they could find these things and, and cure people of a lot of things. Well,

Michael:

the actor Alan Thicke, he died of a dissection. He thought he was having a heart attack. I'm not saying they killed him, right, because they thought he was having a heart attack. But there are certain procedures that you may do you want somebody having a heart attack that would maybe kill you if you're having a dissection, like

Connie:

blood thinners or Nitro. I mean, if you've got a hole in your aorta, and you give someone blood thinners,

Siobhan:

they're just gonna bleed out. Yeah. So you still have like, it's still a concern that you have to worry about. Yeah, like it's there. Yeah, it's never

Connie:

gonna go away. So I have what they call a double barrel dissection. When my aorta tore it tore in a way that it the blood went through right after the arch of my aorta, the blood ripped through and it kept going down, and then it ripped out back into my aorta. So it went in and out, went out and it came out. They call it a false lumen. So it came back in right before it goes off into my kidneys, so it didn't cause any issues with my kidneys. So they didn't have to operate.

Michael:

That's all fine to pick so you can actually see what it looks like.

Siobhan:

That'd be great. Yeah, I mean, I knew that you had had like a, an event, but I didn't know how bad it was. And I knew that you had almost like, you know, but I in my brain, I was like, Oh, she had a heart attack. Yeah. And like, has, you know, she's gotten better. And she's good now in my brain, you know, and

Connie:

I don't take anything for the heart. I'm on a zillion. I'm on a bazillion blood pressure meds. I'm always tired. You know, I don't exercise. I've gotten quite chunky. I always tell myself I'm gonna exercise and then I'm like, yep, nope. Exercise. almost killed me. So you know, we don't we don't eat a lot of junk or anything we try to. We try to eat healthy, but really eat red meat? Yeah, I. Yeah. But I'm down to two years. Now, every two years for my scans. I had to go at first I had to go every three months. And then it was six months, and then it was a year and then you know, you know how that is?

Siobhan:

I do. Yeah, but And you're right, because you can go either way. When that stuff happens, like you either wallow in the sorrow of what happens? Or like you, you just go and do. Yeah. And you're like, that's the only other option. Which is, I feel bad for the people that gets stuck in that wallowing. And sometimes I have no patience for them. Because I'm like, you can get you can make your life different now like, yeah, that sucked that that happen? It's a

Connie:

choice. It's a choice. Sometimes people are not. It's like an addiction, someone who's addicted. And they can't help themselves out of it. Right. Some people just can't help themselves out have to make that choice. They can't, you know, yeah, it's too hard for that.

Michael:

This is deep inside, Connie. So there's your heart is your aorta. See that line? Yep, that's where it split. Wow. That's that line. That's it also. That's wild. Think that's her brain. So here's a bigger one. There's her lungs. It's the size of a pea. Kidneys, right. See that line? Yeah. That shouldn't be like instead of having this split to the first and second layer, and then it created two holes, hence the double

Siobhan:

barrel? Yeah. Wow. And you went through all of that basically by yourself? Which is probably why or how I mean, cuz Have you always been such a badass, though? Like, or do you think that made you more of about us?

Connie:

Um, I mean, I don't, I don't know that I would call me badass. I'm not about us what I grew up. You know, I mean, I'm the product. I'm, I'm a product of the 70s and 80s. And she had two brothers. I, I, you know, being I guess, little skater, punk rock goth chick in the 80s. That'll kind of toughen you up. But also, you're a little scrappy. You know, my dad was an alcoholic, and I saw my mom be abused. And I just, from a very early age, was very vocal against abusive situations. And I'm, I'm vocal against abuse of a lot of different kinds, whether it's, you know, that kind of abuse or people taking advantage of or exploiting other people. Nothing fucking pisses me off more than that. Yeah. You know, it just does. I mean, there's a lot of people they've got some really fucking big balls and a lot of fucking nerve. You know? And I'll call you out on your bullshit. I'll cut and I will go down if you're going to take me down. Let's go. Yeah, you're coming down with me. You want to take me down? Let's go. Yeah,

Siobhan:

that's what I love about you. It's one of the because like, you're you're no bullshit person. And you're like, come at me. Let's go. Let's do it. Like I it's like a competence

Connie:

that you have. Right, you know, I almost fucking died. There's so many shifts that I don't give. I love it so many shifts. I don't care. I don't care. Yeah, I think it's like a stuff. All this stuff can go away. I'll go live in a cardboard box. I can go work at you know, the zip and rip on the corner. I don't care.

Siobhan:

Right. You're alive. So you're you have a love. Like that's

Connie:

the most important thing to me. You know? because you

Siobhan:

two met three months, you said after her dissection. Yeah. And you guys have not been apart since you met, right?

Michael:

Nope. I think maybe twice, twice for one week each. She had to go up north to Portland. And then I was on tour for about eight or nine days. And that was it literally.

Siobhan:

So seven years of just like the love that you guys have is me. It's inspirational. It's like that's what I want to, you know, because to see you because one,

Connie:

sometimes you really get

Siobhan:

Yeah, but you have no problem telling each other that either you're annoying the fuck out of me. I'm gonna go over here now.

Michael:

Angry. That's an old cliche thing, but it's true. Don't go to bed angry.

Siobhan:

Right. You fight it out.

Michael:

We're honest about stuff. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's nothing that I would say to my best friend, Jim. That I wouldn't say that my best friend and wife Kalani. I mean, yeah. Right. I'm all out there. I'm an open book. Yeah. And she knows.

Connie:

I think that's one of the things too, that I've learned in the last 10 years with the dissection and then also with the menagerie, you know, being around all these different people and personalities, is I've learned to become a better listener. Not just, I mean, not listening, but hearing people, you know. And also observer, I see a lot of things. I see a lot of things. And it just, yeah, there's some things I've seen and heard about people that I didn't want to know about. You know? Yeah, but it's interesting. It's really interesting. And we've met some really cool people.

Michael:

Very cool people. While you're here, yeah.

Siobhan:

I was gonna say because you I mean, Michael, you have a full time job. And then you do all of the you support Connie, and all of this, because it's like, it's both of your company. I mean, you're like the forerunner in that kind of

Connie:

names on the paperwork. Yeah.

Siobhan:

So, but you work full time, and you're a musician. Well, but because you have you work with Connie on the menagerie, you have your band, because you're still playing music a lot, right? Are you not much

Michael:

of a tribute band, and we play maybe once or twice a year? That's, that's pretty old farts to get out on stage. Yeah, the old solo music, which I'm almost done now.

Siobhan:

Oh, that's awesome. Later. Yeah.

Michael:

So he has a guest vocal spot.

Connie:

I hate it when you remind me that

Michael:

sounds great. So I'm doing that I'm gonna have a solo release. I don't know what I got two more songs. I want to add I have two songs that are already kind of in the works. So we'll see. Yeah, the song sounds really good. leadoff singles just about ready, so I can play it for people. Nice, confident it's sounding okay. Yeah. But he keeps telling people Oh, he has he's a musician. Play, play your music. even know. Here, he's in a band play. This is not in a band. It's just me. Right?

Siobhan:

Can you hear your musician? Yeah. But you are a musician. Like that's your art. And it's, it's kind of funny for me to hear that. You're like, I don't want to play it for them yet. Because sometimes when I'm out and someone was like, she has a podcast, and I'm like, sure. You do. Yeah. And then it gets its weight. And I'm like, I'm trying to get over kind of that stage fright of just existing. I'm

Michael:

gonna be putting myself out there doing this, because it's just me. Right? And it's gonna be on iTunes and you know, all the other stuff. And then I might do some vinyl. Maybe a limited run of vinyl. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see how it turns out. Yeah.

Siobhan:

That's really exciting, though.

Michael:

Go from there. I'm excited about it. Yeah, it's been a long time coming.

Siobhan:

How do you find the balance to do all of it though? Like, because you are a devoted husband like you take Connie wherever she needs to go, because now we know she doesn't drive. So like you do a lot for her for you.

Michael:

I mean, yeah, that's really what it is. I mean, I love her obviously. I love my music. I love the menagerie. So we just do it. We just do.

Siobhan:

Yeah, it's kind of like your thing. You guys just do your thing.

Connie:

We're pals

Michael:

where we're two people on an island. Sometimes it's how we think of it. Because when it comes down to it's always gonna be her and I that's that's the one constant in our lives. To keep it

Siobhan:

Yeah, death and taxes. She's already like skipped over death though. Right?

Michael:

I mean, she cheated in the first time I met her.

Siobhan:

Yeah. It's because you to just right you, you didn't know each other at all before you met

Connie:

you had seen him like at the grocery store. And, you know, I was I was little hottie and this guy just walks back, you know, by me like that, whatever the case might milk out or something now, you know, so

Siobhan:

and then you went a few days later or a few weeks Oh.

Connie:

So Bill Pash was he used to DJ over at swell he did do this little dance night called transmission. And I had gone to I gone to see a band called the mission in San Francisco with my boyfriend at the time. And

Siobhan:

that's right, you both were seeing other people. Right that Yeah,

Michael:

we were we were miserable with other people miserable with other people.

Connie:

But I, I had been on Facebook and Bill posted something on on his little dance night thing. I don't know something about songs that start with a woman's name, oh, a woman's name, start songs it start with a woman's name. He wanted ideas for his playlist. And I said, I don't know, Caroline. And he said Severina. And then I said something else. And he said something else. And then he says on my comment. He says Hey, weren't you at the Mission last week? And I was like, looked at his picture, you know, his profile. And although he's cute,

Michael:

and hold on aversary Pop

Connie:

wasn't good. I was afraid it was gonna be dead. So it was on that post of, you know, his club night. And I was like, Oh, I wonder if he's gonna go. You know? And. And so, yeah, so he showed up. And then he he texted or he messaged me on Facebook. Like, early in the morning after we both got home and we just never stopped talking.

Michael:

No, we talked from people here. So we left. I walked home. Thank you. She drove home. And we chatted on Messenger until the sun came up. And then what day was at that a Sunday. I called in sick the next day and met her at the beach. Just to continue the conversation because I was like, This is it?

Siobhan:

Yeah, right here.

Connie:

I had not been I was off of work. I was out on medical leave.

Siobhan:

Right. You were still recovering from Yeah, almost dying.

Michael:

Yeah. And I told them that she was in the fast lane too. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, you have pulled the car over.

Connie:

I kind of you know, that first month after my dissection. I went home from the hospital. And I was like, in bed, they gave me Percocet because I was still in a lot of pain. I was still like the pain from I guess a dissection when you're tearing inside? It's I don't know if you had pain inside from your injuries from your accident. Yeah. But that internal pain that you have. It's not like, you can put heat on it right. And help relieve it. Yeah. So they do they give you pain pills and whatever else. But I was on Percocet for a month. And I was just happy and happy watching Netflix. They're like, don't vacuum don't get dishes down. Because people don't realize this. When anytime you put your arms above your head, your blood pressure goes up. Wow. Anytime you exert any force with your arms pushing like this, your blood pressure goes up. It could be the smallest thing. So she goes away moving, moving back and forth. The vacuum. Yeah, your blood pressure goes up, or weight limits. 10 pounds of lifting.

Michael:

It used to be it's

Connie:

five pounds in each hand.

Siobhan:

Right? Wow.

Connie:

Yeah. So that first month, I was just on bedrest, and then you know, your muscles atrophy. And so getting back up, I would go for like short, short while and I was running before that. Yeah, but before that I was running five miles around Alameda, you know, so I had that month and then I started walking you know, short distances because I was out of breath immediately. But I decided that after that first month, I was like, I'm weaning myself off of this shit. And I'm getting out of here because I had gone back and stayed with my ex husband. And I was like, There's no way right I'm not doing this. Not doing this and you know they didn't know. It was still like now you can't go back to work yet. I mean, accounting is stressful, right? You have deadlines and you have, you know,

Siobhan:

yeah. Because any stress gets your blood pressure up and then,

Connie:

wow. So, so you,

Siobhan:

I imagine, and I mean, I'm gonna ask you, but like, so I because I deal with pain all the time, and I'm in pain all the time I set my life up. So I don't deal with other bullshit. Like when someone's like, I'm like, I just don't need you in my life. Like your drama. I don't need you. Or like, work. Like, I don't work places I don't like and I don't, I don't put myself in positions where I can have to deal with so much because I'm like, I already have like, my bandwidth for stuff is shorter than it used to be. Yeah. And Zuma was here. We'll just wrap it up for now, though. Yeah. What did you ask them? Well, do you is that one of the reasons why, like, now you work for yourself? And do you? Do you kind of limit all the other? Do you kind of limit all the other bullshit and stress in your life? Because of?

Connie:

Yeah, so I set up. That's funny. I had set up to, to strike in your a two strike in your out rule. Oh, I got to a point in my life. Because I think everybody deserves a second chance. But oftentimes, we give people three, right? Yeah. No, there's a there's a two to strike two strike, and you're out. And, and especially now with like, the business. I think that's really important. Because I tend to, I tend to feel I'm one of those puppets. I have a lot of empathy for people. Yeah. And I'm a Taurus as well. I do. Oh, I also will let people go and go and go until I don't yet. And when I don't you know it?

Michael:

Yeah, that's Oh, same with me.

Connie:

So I've had to, I've had to kind of stick to that two strikes, and you're out

Michael:

takes me a while I just cancelled off. And then yeah,

Siobhan:

I'm kind of similar to that. Yeah, once I get mad, I just am done.

Connie:

And then, you know, the other thing too, is that if I just see some type of inequity, or someone, just, you know, I just shut them out. I just don't need to be around it. Right. If I see them doing something that someone else or I, there's no time for that anymore. Yeah, just better things to surround yourself

Siobhan:

with because you have that it's, as much as it's a, I always say it's a gift now. Like, it's a gift to me that I know what I could have lost, or, you know, like, I spent so many years on meds and not doing anything. And now I'm like, I don't want to do that. But I also am not gonna let anyone into my life. That's not going to be positive. Like if you're not, I'm okay. Like, I wish you all the best, but you can take that shit over there.

Connie:

Yeah, go, go have fun with it. Yeah. I mean, I know a lot of disadvantaged people, whether they're, you know, from a minority group, or, you know, whatever else I, you know, I think people look at me and they go, Oh, she has this privileged life. I've had to work for everything that I have. And you don't know me, you don't know what I do on my off time. You don't know who I give to? I don't have to post it all over Facebook. I don't have to put a sign in my window that says, I'm doing this for this charity. Right? I don't have to do that. And I'm not going to I'm not going to exploit anybody. That's just not who we are.

Siobhan:

Yeah, no, you're doing good for you. And to put it out there and the

Connie:

people that I surround myself with, and the people that we work with, you know, and those people are the same or are like me, you know, all of those people, all of the women that we work with all of the people of color, you know, all the minority groups. They're the same way. They they work hard, and they believe in what they do. So, you know, we're looking forward to continuing those relationships and building on them. And this year is going to be full of so much magic and so much Menagerie and The Menagerie is everybody. I mean, a menagerie that's what a menagerie is. Yeah. So

Siobhan:

Well we thank you for creating a place where like you created a place where not only the gods are welcome but like non Goths like me are welcome and feel like we can come and learn and like because I love weird shit I love all of it. But it was never like a it was never a community I had a bunch of access to so like meet more of those people and to be able to just explore and learn about it. If you do it in such a welcoming way that like Thank you. Because I even more little like golf now than I was and or I would have, you know, I probably would have been a goth kid. Yeah, like and I'm okay with being weird. Yeah, like I'm okay with it. And it's like nice that I have a place that kind of gave me that permission.

Connie:

You have an outlet? Yeah. You know, it's funny because our audience I like to say our audience, our demographic. They're doctors or lawyers. They're teachers. They're your neighbor. They're your mom, your dad. Yep. They're everybody. Yeah, like didn't know it.

Siobhan:

Yeah, exactly. And it's so nice to be able to see it and feel it and be a part of it. Yeah. Thank you for that.

Connie:

Thank you for having us. Thank

Siobhan:

you. Yeah. Well, we'll probably be back next time to talk about more stuff. We'll talk about Michael's music.

Connie:

That'd be great. Yeah. Michael?

Siobhan:

Yes. All right. Yeah, we're gonna go get drunk and eat some good food. Yeah, we have worked. Yeah. All right. Yeah, well, we'll get to. Alright, y'all. Thanks for listening and go find some joy today.

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