Questions & Quitting with Kirkland

Siobhan and Kirkland sit down for their first real catch-up since December 2022, trading updates on life, loss, and the strange ways the world has shifted. Kirkland shares how catching COVID pushed him to finally quit drinking, the financial reality of walking away from the bar life, and the highlights of his 11-year trivia-hosting streak—complete with surprise winners, candy slogans, and a generous benefactor who changed the game.

The conversation goes deep on chronic pain—his sickle cell and hip surgeries, Siobhan’s endometriosis—and the ways it shapes travel, relationships, and everyday choices. They wander through stories of grief that shows up out of nowhere, travel magnets that hold whole memories, and what it means to quit the things that drain you while holding onto what brings joy.

It’s a mix of laughter, truth bombs, and hard-earned wisdom—served with the same unfiltered honesty you’ve come to expect from Ducking Realitea.

Transcript

Siobhan: 0:08

Foreign Hey, y'all welcome to this week's episode of Ducking Realty in the pond. With me today, I have one of my basically original first, probably 10 guests in December of 2022 is the last time we sat down. Wow. So today with me is my friend, Kirkland. Oh, hi. Hi, Kirkland. How you do I'm good. How are you pretty good. Good. I couldn't believe that it's been since December of 2022, since we sat down. I thought it was way less time that passed. I did too. And I have to say, since then we probably have, like, seen each other only in passing, and for like, quick little right? 10 minutes, Hey, how are you what's going on exactly that time we went to the cannabis place. Oh, yes, was that stizzy? Yeah, it was dizzy. Yeah, yeah, I've only been in there one time after that. We so, well, you don't smoke weed. You don't drink anymore. No, when you were on, you were on your way to giving it up. I think we were talking about it, right, but you had still been you were partaking on the episode, I think, yeah, yeah, we were having a cocktail. No, we didn't. We didn't, yeah, I think I bought it.

Kirkland: 1:10

Yes, you offered me a bottle. And I'm like, I'll come and get it later. Yeah, I still don't have

Siobhan: 1:15

it.

Kirkland: 1:17

Trace it at it. It's still here, but, yeah, we'll be back next week. I think too right on. No, no, I gave it up. Did I tell you how I gave it up? I don't think so. I got covid February, 27 2023 I was hosting at swell bar, and someone came in with it because I didn't have it before that night, right? And that night, when I got home after two hours of beginning her cough and feeling weird, I gave myself a test. I'm like, Oh, shit, I got it. I tested positive. I texted everybody I knew who was there. Said, spread the word. I got covid. Someone else was going to have it too. Yeah, three other people did have it. Oh, wow. They all test themselves immediately. 10 days in, the symptoms I ended up with were super fatigue. I just wanted to sleep all day, and I had one day of non stop runny nose. But that's not terrible. No, 10 days, and I'm like, I'm gonna go get a bottle. Then I said, I have no one to share it with. Then I said, How long can you go without it? Haven't touched it since? Wow, that's not true. I did touch it July 4 this year. Oh, okay, I had half a, not even half, let's say maybe two teaspoons of champagne, oh, and a hit of infused weed. Oh, we went hard. It was bad. It was

Siobhan: 2:38

really you had a bad reaction to it. I

Kirkland: 2:41

felt like I couldn't walk. I got so high god Gnosis, wow, yep, never again.

Siobhan: 2:46

Now your body's just like, nope. We don't need it.

Kirkland: 2:48

Nope. We hate it. We hate it. Also, what helped me quit drinking was how much money was I spending drinking, if I added up even the free drinks I got for hosting. At that point, I was hosting four nights a week, yeah, 1200

Siobhan: 3:01

a month. Wow, yeah, I have not and I don't want to see what I spend on booze. It's a test. But it's also it's harder for me because I bartend. So most of my drinking is behind the bar when other people are buying my drinks.

Kirkland: 3:14

That's super easy. So it's also cut yourself off, right?

Siobhan: 3:18

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. I'm very good about, like, when I'm behind the bar. It's so funny, because when I'm behind the bar, I can drink differently than when I'm not, okay, when you're not behind the bar, it's like, two drinks will hit me, really. Yeah. Do you think it's because behind the bar, you keep moving? You've got to keep up? Yeah? I think it's Yeah. I think it's like, I'll do like, half shots or shots, but I will spread them out, but I'm still moving, and it's just the adrenaline, and I have to be paying attention to everyone in the room and what's going on, and right, you know who's next and what happens. And you don't

Kirkland: 3:47

always accept free drinks. You just have get it later or whatever. Yeah,

Siobhan: 3:50

sometimes I'll do that, yeah? Sometimes, like, I'll have half with someone, half of someone, right on. So it's like, I don't even know if I drink all the free drinks.

Kirkland: 3:58

I bet you don't. I bet you don't. Did you got it? Like you just said, keep an eye on the bar and serve customers. Yeah, you have

Siobhan: 4:03

to keep your wits about you. Like, I've worked with bartenders who get, like, super drunk, and I'm just like, I don't know how you do that. Like, what happens if something happens?

Kirkland: 4:10

I've seen it like, yeah, when I worked the door at a certain bar at a fireside and I did get in trouble because I was accepting some free juice in lieu of covered yeah, oh yeah. And Sandy said, Give me your wrist. She slapped my wrist and said, we've all been there. We've all done it, but you're the first person they see, and you got to keep an eye on a bar, right? So no more drinks during your shift. Yeah, no problem.

Siobhan: 4:32

You getting free drinks in lieu of covers. Is her not getting covers? That's

Kirkland: 4:37

right. So really trouble? Yeah, it was trouble, yeah? But when she says, Stop, I stopped, yeah, of

Siobhan: 4:42

course. And you do it because you're not you think it's not a big deal, like, you're like, Oh

Kirkland: 4:45

yeah, of course, yeah. But I did max out at three, but that's still stealing, yeah? And it, but it's

Siobhan: 4:50

hard to say it's stealing because it doesn't feel like stealing because, like, no, they bought something. They

Kirkland: 4:55

did buy something, but they didn't pay the cover and I let them in, yeah, but I. I can't do the job anymore anyway, no, too old for it and

Siobhan: 5:03

to like, to dapper for it,

Kirkland: 5:09

fun part, dress up for

Siobhan: 5:12

it, like, for, like, the the some of the crap you have to deal with. Oh yeah, the

Kirkland: 5:19

whole joint. Yeah, thank you. But no, yeah, situation, I just rather host. I like hosting trivia. Yeah. How many nights you hosting? Now, at this point, it's three nights, but four different spots. Every other Monday is swell bar, and tonight's going to be the cannabis place, Park, social. Oh, okay. 630 Tuesday, fireside. Wednesday is clubhouse nice this. Tuesday is my 11th anniversary hosting there. Oh, wow,

Siobhan: 5:48

that's awesome. It is awesome. 11 years, 11 years,

Kirkland: 5:52

even during covid. Yep, we were the only game in town online for Alameda trivia.

Siobhan: 5:56

Oh, yeah, that's right, because you got you and Scott Kelly, no, Scott,

Kirkland: 6:03

one sec. We had Carrie Yellen. We had Sean Keeley. Sean Keeley is who I was thinking of. Okay. We had Scott miner. Scott miner, yeah, yes. Sorry, Scott. And occasionally mardia Moyer would host or host a round. And some we had written rounds from people named Jack Mingo and one other person. But yeah, during a shelter in place. Yeah, we didn't miss a week. That's amazing. It was amazing. Some weeks were slower than others, but our biggest weeks, we had 200 No, yeah, about 200 people. Holy shit. We had people from across the country. I didn't realize that it had gotten that big. Got that big. Wow, like July 2020, through July 2021, just before things, yeah, reopened, we were consistent. We had a good crowd, wow. And then when things started opening, right? There is still an online version via fireside. We haven't marketed in a minute, but I haven't talked to Sean. I mean, he was doing that aspect of it, but I guess he's still doing it. I haven't talked to him. Oh, last time I talked to him was May of 2024, wow, yeah. But hey, we're still doing it. Yeah, I was

Siobhan: 7:12

gonna say we're May of 2025. Has already passed. So over a year, over a year, yep, every time we got nothing, no, no, we got it. It's recorded everything until we mentioned will, keys name,

Kirkland: 7:26

no shit, no shit. Should we not mention it then? No, I

Siobhan: 7:30

think it's kind of him fucking with us. Okay? I mean, I mean, that's

Kirkland: 7:34

on brand for real. Yeah,

Siobhan: 7:36

everything, literally on brand. Everything up until we said we haven't sat down. One of the other reasons, we both didn't sit down, and then it cuts.

Kirkland: 7:45

He just did this stuff. I'm totally buying that. Well, you

Siobhan: 7:50

know what else is? So last weekend, I worked the mosswood meltdown, yeah, for Sandy, and Devo was the headliner. And so the first day I borrowed Stevie has, like, one of those energy dome hats, nice from, like, the 90s. So I borrowed that, and I used it as my tip jar. And then he was supposed to work an event kind of similar to that the weekend he died, or the weekend before he died for somebody, right? Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be his first one. So the second day wake up to go to it, and I just woke up feeling shitty and missing him. It was just like, super heavy. And I was like, All right, shower. Shake it off. Go to work. Go to work. Be at the Music Festival. It's like a punk rock music festival. Be great. Like, totally. Get my mind off it, right? I walk in and there's fucking wrestlers everywhere. Of course there are. And it's like, hood, slam, drag wrestling. Like they had a whole wrestling great. And I was like, Are you fucking kidding me?

Kirkland: 8:43

You finally you had gotten a car and it was kind of dissipating, and like, Park.

Siobhan: 8:50

And you're like, Woohoo. And I'm like, All right, I can do it. Like, shake it off. It'll be fine. And then I was just like, Are you kidding me? And then I was in the backstage bar, so then they're all just standing in front of my bar the whole time,

Kirkland: 9:05

basically the year to the day.

Siobhan: 9:06

No, it was, this was just last weekend, so it's just over two years, two years rather, yeah, so, because he was early May, but it was just like, you know, when you wake up and you just, grief is fickle, like, sure is fucking shows up out of nowhere,

Kirkland: 9:19

out of nowhere. Most of my grief comes through my dreams, does it family members?

Siobhan: 9:24

Yeah, I don't. I think I smoke too much weed to dream really? Yeah, I don't dream a lot, or at least I don't remember my dreams. Yeah, and they say that weed is probably because I do. Whenever I'm I take a break from smoking, I'll have the craziest dreams, which I don't remember them, but I do get wake up going like, Huh? I do dream

Kirkland: 9:41

so they're vivid, and yet you just came here. I don't remember them. My dreams are 90% of my dreams. I totally remember really super vivid. Sometimes I wake up, mostly struck by these dreams. I have to tell myself, that was just a fucking dream. Do snap out, right? You're like, I'm in bed, I'm okay, yeah, I'm in bed, I'm okay, yeah. This happened. This happened. Was morning.

Siobhan: 10:01

What was your dream about this morning?

Kirkland: 10:04

Me, my mom, my sister, not getting along. Oh, it's always that these

Siobhan: 10:08

days. Was it because they're both gone right now?

Kirkland: 10:10

My sister, oh, you know, my sister, the last two remaining sisters, they are alive, but we are so distant. We are we've been estranged for like, four years. That sucks. It does suck. I want to help him, and I want to talk to him, but I can't, right?

Siobhan: 10:23

Yeah, and that's the hardest part, too. Is when you want to and you can't, yeah, I family that, like, we don't really talk anymore, and it's weird. And,

Kirkland: 10:32

but you had a trip where you saw some of your family members,

Siobhan: 10:34

right? I did, yeah. So, yeah. I mean, so we have one of the things on the table today, was all the magnets that I got for you, right in my travels, and there's two years worth. So I was putting them out on the table earlier, I should take a picture of them. And I was like, oh, which ones, like, do I have? And then it was like a little memory trip for me, every magnet, yeah, because it's been so when I went on my first big trip, right after Wilke died, actually, right? You said to me, when you go get me magnets, I collect magnets from everywhere. And so then I got you magnets from that trip. From that trip, and I'm literally everywhere people, yep, so I gave you those ones. And then last or two years ago, when I went, I have not seen you since then, that's right. And then I have now by, isn't it, and then I was like, I buy magnets wherever we go or I go. There is not one for here from Prague, because, for whatever reason, I did not buy any memorabilia, nothing. I didn't buy anything in Prague. What do you think slowed that up? I think I was just enjoying it so much, right on. Like, no time, kitschy, yeah. And I was like, oh, there's a shop right there. I'll go get go and get it later. I'll go and get it later. Oh, right on. And then I just didn't, but then I was like, I didn't get myself, but I didn't on the plane leaving, and I was like, I didn't get Kirkland a magnet, even at the airport, I didn't even get myself anything, but I thought of you first.

Kirkland: 11:53

Thank you so much. This is great, yeah.

Siobhan: 11:55

So there's a ton of them, but yeah. So this one from Aruba. That's when I went away with my family, actually, okay, but that was just with my regular family, okay, like my parents, my brother and his kids, right on, but yeah, they my parents were out here in Monterey Bay. But then you have magnets here. Now, it sounds like a humble brag, but Istanbul,

Kirkland: 12:15

she's a world traveler. She's in a group from, not from Groupon, a traveling group, though, right? Yeah, we go

Siobhan: 12:19

to bathe all across the world,

Kirkland: 12:24

like hot bathe, or whatever it's

Siobhan: 12:26

the banya, okay, is what we call it, but saunas and cold plunges

Kirkland: 12:32

thermal water that will murder me due to sickle cell. Well, we talked about that previously.

Siobhan: 12:37

I know I wanted to find out how the sickle cell is going, and read

Kirkland: 12:40

these things first for the Magnus, and then we'll talk about, okay, Istanbul, fancy Budapest, Milano, taleen. Am I saying that? Right?

Siobhan: 12:49

Tallinn, Tallinn, that's in Estonia, Frankfurt, Saudi Arabia, Saudi Arabia. That was just this year, badass

Kirkland: 12:59

Luxembourg.

Siobhan: 13:01

That was a quick trip, a drunk trip.

Kirkland: 13:03

A what trip drunk folks, I think you heard her say it fast, it was a drug trip.

Siobhan: 13:08

Drunk. We drank a lot in Luxembourg. That was all we did. We drank and ate and then we left. We were there for like, one night.

Kirkland: 13:14

Nice. Yeah, super party, munching in my Santa, right? Yes. What's this? That is cologne, Cologne, Berlin, Aruba, she mentioned Palm Springs, Denver, Colorado, Aspen, Colorado, yep, oh, it's a magnet.

Siobhan: 13:29

That is a magnet, yep. What's this here? That is a

Kirkland: 13:32

made in Germany. Yep, it

Siobhan: 13:35

is a dragon Castle outside of Munich. When you say dragon Castle, it has like dragons all over it, like they had the huge dragon statues,

Kirkland: 13:45

nice, yeah, any gold? Yes, nice. Because, you know, dragons, I found out this week. I don't know how true it is. Dragons poop gold. They do not poop gold. They just thought they protected it that, yeah, but you know, people are making because of the internet, Latvia and finally, Vienna. Yes,

Siobhan: 14:04

nice. So many good trips outstanding.

Kirkland: 14:07

Yes, I have told you this before. I would love to join, but I get nervous, because if I have a sickle cell crisis overseas, I don't want anybody having to say, oh, we gotta take care of this guy, and he's fucking up our trip. Right? I found out that there are other travel groups that I could join via Groupon or whatever. Oh, nice where someone would be able to do that, but I have to do more research about it. Oh, that's amazing. Also, I have to say this. I shouldn't put it on the universe like that. I should just say, let's take this trip and see what happens. Right now, the last time I took a trip, I merely went to North Carolina this year. The last time before that was Detroit. Pretty easy trips, turbulence. However, the world has changed. Yeah, I don't care what people say. One proof of climate change is turbulence is not what it used to be. It's harder, it's more powerful, and it's not just left to right, it's up and down. Went on a trip with Sandy for her brother's 50th birthday. For an hour and 10 minute flight. The turbines was vertical. Oh, wow. We were rising off our seats and dropping back down our seats. Oh my gosh. Sandy, can deal with that stuff. I could deal with too. If it didn't shake my innards, which would trigger a sickle cell crisis, it would, but it didn't. I got lucky, so I have to kind of build up to it. But I do want to travel. I want to travel. I want to travel this planet. Yeah? Like you, you're killing it. I thank you. I envy anyone who can travel the planet and not

Siobhan: 15:27

have problems. I am still in awe that I have gotten to do this. And I keep saying have gotten to because I'm like, it might go away. Like,

Kirkland: 15:35

well, you don't want to think that, but the bottom falls out of state all the time.

Siobhan: 15:39

Yeah? And I don't, but I'm trying to stop that way of thinking too, yeah, me too. Like, maybe it's all like, my mother is very much a worrywart and, like, always, worst case scenario, and it will aggravate the shit out of me, yeah? But I'm trying to be like, okay, but mom, maybe all the bad shit it's already happened, right? Like, look at all the data we have. The bad shit has happened. We've survived it, and we've been getting better and better, so, like, maybe all the bad shits already done.

Kirkland: 16:04

That is very optimistic, yeah, but it depends on what category you're talking about.

Siobhan: 16:08

Oh, yeah. And it's still, like, trying to lie to myself into believing

Kirkland: 16:10

it. That's fair enough. Yeah, I will fake the funk too, yeah. But I didn't,

Siobhan: 16:15

I guess I knew. So you've taught me the most about sickle cell, but I didn't realize traveling could be such a

Kirkland: 16:22

cabin pressure has affected me at one point. The stress of travel has affected me at one point. When I was married and we went to New Orleans, we were on buddy passes, and she was so hyped up. It's weird to say it, but it's true. I'm an empath, right? Empath? I will absorb people's emotions and try to either talk through it or just dine on it, but that will affect me too. Stress, weather and sudden physical changes will create a sickle cell crisis. Yeah, I've been lucky. I have not had to go to the hospital with this since 2016 Nice. That's really lucky. My doctor, like, Dude, you are kind of an anomaly. You come to these when we need to do a check up on you. You come every quarter. You don't ask us for much, but a lot of people come here just when they really need stuff, right? Besides me, they just need whatever they need. But I just go there to make sure I'm okay, right? Currently, the sickle cell thing has been very chill. Do you know what creatine is? Mine's up and that's trouble. Okay, they also sickle cell patients cannot do the A 1c test for diabetes. Oh, really, it just does not register. Oh, it's very weird. I could have diabetes, and it wouldn't surprise me. I hate to say it, but it wouldn't surprise me if I do, because when I gave up drinking candy, yep, cakes, donuts, pies. I have a strawberry cheesecake pie from nations at the house right now. Nice. I'm thinking about it as we speak. I can't get enough of Butterfingers either. I thought

Siobhan: 17:52

you were just gonna pull one out of your pocket. I already ate it.

Kirkland: 17:57

It's bad. It's really bad. Oh, it's really bad,

Siobhan: 18:04

wow. But

Kirkland: 18:06

again, the lucky part is no hospital trips, but the pain is consistent. I had a one moment, yeah, this is good. It tastes minty, like a menthol, you know what? So this supposed to last three days before you have to change the core.

Siobhan: 18:22

And so you're sucking on. Am a vape, but it's different. There's

Kirkland: 18:27

no smoke. It's just a flavored core. You're pulling in air. That's just okay. That's why there's no exhalation, right? It's going to replace the cigarettes, because it tastes like a menthol cigarette. Yep, it was expensive, but it's going to be worth it. How much are cigarettes?

Siobhan: 18:41

My 15, $16 pack, 1450,

Kirkland: 18:44

a pack, and I put a menthol card and assess another three bucks.

Siobhan: 18:47

Wow. Or if you can find the Menthols, what are those? Like, 20 bucks a

Kirkland: 18:51

pack. Now, correct? Some people will say 17. It ain't 17. That's funny. You're paying two bucks a cigarette, yeah? So when people ask if they can bum a cigarette,

Siobhan: 19:00

yeah, no,

Kirkland: 19:03

buy one. If they offer to buy I give it to them. Oh, that's nice. If they come up to me talking, good, can I get a cigarette? No, please be polite when you got your hand out. Yeah, maybe I'm being an asshole.

Siobhan: 19:15

No, I don't think so. I think I was talking about this with someone else the other day. Like, common courtesy has gone away. It is gone. And like, why? What can we bring that back? No, no, never. You don't think

Kirkland: 19:26

only people who appreciate it will use it. The Internet has changed everything. Everything has changed due to technology. And it's cool to be an asshole, but it's more work to be an asshole. They don't see it like that, but it is being free, like to me, I see that it's a lot of work to be in, right? But then think about your core values. Yeah, it's super easy to be nice. Yeah, it's better to be nice. And

Siobhan: 19:51

it's like, I don't have to think about something because I am always doing the same kind of things, right? Treating people the same way, right? Like it

Kirkland: 19:59

doesn't look. Hurt you to be an asshole? No? And if you are an asshole, it's in defense of some ass who came to you. So are you being an asshole? Are you just defending

Siobhan: 20:07

yourself? I would say just defending myself. Me too. Yeah. I mean, I could just be an asshole like and sometimes I make jokes asshole ish, I do too, because people know that when

Kirkland: 20:17

you're joking, because they know you right. But

Siobhan: 20:20

do you think it's just the internet, or do you think covid had a big part of it, too? Covid had a huge part with where people just don't know how to interact

Kirkland: 20:27

anymore. We are all suffering some form of PTSD after covid, but also brings out the truth of them. Yeah, yeah, that's I don't work the door anymore. Did I take that story? No, think I did. Oh yes, I think you did in the first one, but I'll remind the Yeah,

Siobhan: 20:41

please. If someone didn't listen to our I don't know why they wouldn't listen to

Kirkland: 20:45

our either. Duh. I'm working a door. We had the outside parklet, and my job was to make sure that if you're coming to the bar and you're gonna set the outside parklet, you can smoke, you can drink, you can eat, but you got to have your mask on, at least beneath your chin. Here's what I would say. Hi. My name is Kirkland. I work the door here, and I help arrange the line so you can go in and get your drinks. Please keep your mask going beneath your chin. So if a cop or a Fed person comes by and sees people without their masks, they could shut us down. Oh, that was a thing. People didn't believe it, but it was a thing. So one Friday night, this is when things started to reopen. 2021 a gentleman. I'm six. Two, a gentleman. I gotta say it, and I don't mean this to be racist, but I'm going to describe the situation. This white guy who's about five eight. He entered my personal bubble, got in my face. He didn't say anything, but he really got close to me. And I said, I'm just telling you the rules, sir. This is how it works here. And then I backed away, right? He didn't say anything, but he really got close, like he squared up. That's the term, yeah, the next day was a Saturday. I said, the same. Stick to everybody who was there. This guy was taller than me, six, four. I think he got in my face. He squared up. These are rules. So I'm just letting you know the following weekend happened again, and each gentleman who did so was a white male, of course, squared up at me. One guy was my height, and one guy was at my chin. So 511 Sandy just happened to be outside, and I said, saying, I'm putting in my two weeks. I can't do this anymore. At that point, I was 57 years old. Yeah, I know, as a doorman, you can't touch them unless they touch you, but they got in my face. I'm the only black male face out there, basically, yeah, I don't know what the Alameda cops will do. I'm gonna trust that they'll do the right thing. But back then, after the George Floyd shit, I didn't trust anybody, so I had to get out of there. She made a stern face and said, I understand, and that's why I didn't work the door anymore. Yeah, the covid thing led me to stop drinking. I still go to bars to host trivia. Sometimes I visit a bar just to hang out with the people. And I don't feel that anymore. I don't feel that anymore. You don't feel the need to go to a bar. Oh

Siobhan: 23:05

yeah, yeah, because you haven't penned out just to hang out other than trivia that I've seen you. I

Kirkland: 23:10

go to fireside to dance. That's the only spot to dance. Oh yeah. And I've gone to Wally's. Wants to ball, to shoot pool. They have a drinking draw on Tuesday night. So I popped in there after that just to draw. Yeah, been I haven't been lemon. What's it called, let me draw. I stopped there once after hosting a private trivia event, and it was way thick with people, and I got the hell out of I just didn't feel comfortable. Yeah, and then part of not drinking made me ask, besides money, besides feeling better, why was I drinking? Here's what I came up with. Okay, I do love the flavor of Bloomberg 12. To me, it's like sweet tea with alcohol. Yeah, in my for my palate, I dig that. But if you drink it right, you wouldn't have a headache or get sick. You have to work that, because some days the stress is high. Yeah, takes more to get that buzz going after that. Why was I drinking? I was thinking. I think I was drinking to try to fit in with people. Oh, I could see that that's sad, yeah. So yeah, nope, yeah.

Siobhan: 24:19

There are times that I know that I know that I'll have like, an extra shot just because I'm uncomfortable. And it's like, All right, well, let me just loosen up.

Kirkland: 24:26

Did it make you more comfortable

Siobhan: 24:29

in a way? Yes, in a way, yeah. But it wasn't.

Kirkland: 24:31

It was just to make you feel more comfortable hanging with the baby you're hanging Yep, yeah. So like,

Siobhan: 24:35

makes me a little, like, it gets me out of my head a little, because I can be very in my head, and

Kirkland: 24:41

you're always in your head, yeah? The Hyper analytical stuff, the trying not to worry, yeah. And the trying to solve things that can't be solved or

Siobhan: 24:50

things that aren't even my problem, yeah. Like, I was just talking to Rolando from Malaya botanicals the other day, and he was like, Oh, I was just talking to these people, and we were talking about why this place? Doesn't have many people to it, and how we should have an event and and he's like, and then I realized I talked myself into more work. There's, again, no more talking to people. We're not doing that anymore, right, right? Less people like, we're not people as much because we keep giving ourselves more work. And it's not work that like gets us well paid or like, right? It's like, a bunch of work that gives other people a great time, right? But our ROI isn't great, right? Like, we're not making a shit ton of money on it. We're not, like, being able to relax and enjoy it all, and if

Kirkland: 25:29

you do it enough times, you'll be expected to do it, yeah, with no real gain,

Siobhan: 25:33

yep, yep. So I'm like, we we're not doing that anymore. Like we're doing things that make us money, that we can enjoy, or at least make us happy, yeah, or bring us just so much joy that we don't care that we're not making any money, right? Like, but we're not walking around at events going, Okay, well, this was a lot of work for what, for what, like, we're not doing that anymore, yeah, but it's really hard to get and break out of those habits.

Kirkland: 25:54

It's super hard. Yeah, it's super hard. I got lucky with the breaking out of drinking, but, and then I got lucky with not having to go to bars. Sometimes the walls do close anything. Sometimes you got to go

Siobhan: 26:05

out. Yeah, so where have you really replaced it with anything yet? Have you, like, joined to different community groups or

Kirkland: 26:11

not yet? No, you know why. I do dig my own company. Yeah, I do train myself all day, comic books, books, yeah, okay, here's an example. During shelter in place, when I was still on Amazon, I would order books that I saw online, 6019 project The Warmth of Other Suns. These are all written by black authors and black scholars. Okay, they're hard to read because they're actual history. They're really hard to read. Like, I'll do a couple paragraphs. I'm like, nope. So with that said I would join or look on YouTube to see what other people have said about the book. I'm not formulating opinion based on what they said. I just want to see what they thought. Right. Many people think the 1619 project is a well researched book, but it got her in trouble because it made the right say CRT is being taught in our schools. It is not right and taught at certain universities. If those universities want to take that on as part of their curriculum, it is not being taught in K through 12 schools. But that narrative got out and people believed it. People are idiots. PFS, did we get our T shirts yet? People

Siobhan: 27:14

not yet. They're coming. They're coming. I just talked to a merch guy right on. So much merch waiting, waiting to come. Yep, I'm always like, I'll put that on a t

Kirkland: 27:24

shirt, right? Let's talk about the trivia for a minute. Yeah, that's it's crazy. I've been hosting trivia at fireside for 11 years, but I've actually been hosting for we're in 2025 we started when the Benton was these way back in July of 2012 Oh, wow. We did that once a month, myself and a guy named Stacy Ward, okay, Stacy Ward would write this stuff, and I would be the face of the franchise and host the stuff. He says, I had a better voice. You do have a good voice. Thank you. So we would do that once a month, and it worked for a while, and then disease changed hands, and disease changed hands. And the last owner, when we were doing it, and was not a big fan of it, but he let it keep going. Okay, some people, I gotta mention a name, didn't like playing trivia because they didn't, they didn't feel comfortable with it. You can name me. It's okay, not just you. There's several people, yeah, Wilkie was one. Chrissy is another. Oh, really. And there was one other person, what other person? Anyway, when we were hosting that z's, she and I would team up and buy the prizes, cheesy prizes from $1 store. They're the best. They are the best. And we would come up with the questions and blah, blah, blah. Stacy had to move various times. He was going through a lot of stuff with his kids, so he had to be safe, and he would, he kind of fizzled out of writing the questions. By this point, two years have passed, and I'm got the gist of it. I know how to create questions. Now, one night, I'll tell you the Chrissy story first, then the Willkie story. Chrissy was bartending, and we had just enough of a car, like maybe 15 people. This is at the Benton, yeah, which was back fancies, I hate this. Kirk, I hate this. So she had another bartender. My May, May May. She joined her, and they were on a team. This was mostly a Halloween themed trivia. They did. Well, yep, 1f Jeff Campbell, Jeff Lynham were a team. They were very good at trivia. They were super good at trivia. Yeah, they was recently came up on a candy round. Oh, they had the same amount of correct that each had 10 the tiebreaker question was, in the year 2017 please name the top selling candy of that year and how much money that candy made for its company? Wow. So the Jeff team. I think their their team name was f them all. That's what I gave them. But I think they would call themselves the super Jefferson. I can't remember they come up with what's my call it, $1.3 million Chrissy came up with the right answer and the right number on the money. Wow. The answer is, Snickers, $2 billion $2 billion$2 billion she didn't write 2 billion with a, b, she wrote two Oh, comma, oh, comma, oh, comma, oh, point, oh. When I told her, not only did you get the candy right, you got the number right, she almost did back flips behind that bar. I'm never good. I'm like, you don't know what questions you're gonna be good. You just won this round. She lost her shit. May also lost her shit. And the Jeff fellows were like, stunned. It was so funny. She ended up loving trivia. Yeah, Wilkie said the same thing to me. I don't want to play Kirk. I'm like, Okay, I'll just leave it here, and you can just write down answer if you want to or not, right? Of course, the questions were in his wheelhouse. Like, I do know that, I do know that I do know that. I do know that he came in second place on that round. Oh, wow. Same with you when you play. Didn't we do the same thing? Did you get, like, six or something, right? Yep, I hate trivia. Then you didn't. I know people never know. What can I

Siobhan: 31:09

do? Like, I won't actively seek to go to trivia, because it does make me feel dumb,

Kirkland: 31:14

sure, but once you're in, okay, I know you play more than once under my

Siobhan: 31:18

trivia. Yeah, I have, but it's only because I've, like, because I'll come by and see you and

Kirkland: 31:22

then leave. Okay, right? You do bounce out, but you did give it a shot. But I have a couple times

Siobhan: 31:27

when friends are there, been like, Oh, I'll stay for a bit, and then end up staying for the whole thing

Kirkland: 31:30

and having a good time. The plan is just to sneak it up on you, yeah, because I get test

Siobhan: 31:35

anxiety, and I think it translates to trivia, where I'm like, I don't know. And people would be like, you know this? I'm like, I don't know this. I don't know

Kirkland: 31:40

anything. A lot of people go through, what's my last name? What am I doing here? I've heard people say, Hey, you should use a red pen with your scores.

Siobhan: 31:50

I can't. No, I can't. Oh, my God, that just gave me anxiety thinking about it. I

Kirkland: 31:54

did a purple pin because I thought I grabbed the black pen, but it was purple. Yeah. And people were like, Why do you have a purple pen? I'm like, I use this to score. Please don't yeah, it reminds me of third grade. I'm like, Yoink. I had to throw it out. People get freaked out with that stuff. I've had teachers who come to play trivia. This is like, school, no, it's not. I did not teach you this stuff. I'm just hoping you remember this stuff.

Siobhan: 32:15

But I'm a big fan of, like, sorry, when you have, like, the picture rounds or logo rounds or movie rounds. Like, that's my wheelhouse. History. Love that. Yeah, history ones, not so much. Okay, I'm

Kirkland: 32:24

gonna give everybody a secret. Okay, I'll never do geography. I hate geography. I don't necessarily do hard history. I do pop culture history. That's better. Yes, my favorite round to do, to introduce it. This is what helped me get the gig at preacher's daughter. She was already gonna hire me, right? Because I had enough reputation, and the person who recommended me was a good friend of hers. But I said, Let's do a round so you can get the feel of it. I did a candy round. Nice. We did not do this in the previous discussion, right? Let's play now. All right. All right. She's not nervous. Gosh, she's not nervous. People. Here we get in there candy slogans. I read the slogan, you name the candy. This is one of my favorite rounds to introduce this to, for anybody. All right, Kirkland, here we go. Oh, wrong. Nope. Not that one. I'm gonna do a more recent one. Makes mouths happy. Now give you a hint. It's red. It's not a chocolate bar.

Siobhan: 33:41

Liquor, no, yeah, Twizzlers, correct. Oh yeah, makes mouth happy. Little smile, correct, yep, the fresh maker. Oh gum. It's mints. It's Altoids. You were close.

Kirkland: 33:52

You said the word Oh, juicy. No, you said the word mint, mint. These have some really stupid commercials. Really stupid commercials. It's not quite a gumbo, not quite a candy.

Siobhan: 34:04

Oh, oh, the Listerine strips, no, no, that's not candy. What is it? Mentos, oh. Mentos,

Kirkland: 34:11

you were there. Okay, crispy, crunchy peanut buttery, butterfingers. Correct your favorite, my favorite, Taste the rainbow. Skittles. Correct. Melt in your mouth, not in your hands. Eminem. Correct, get the sensation. Peppermint Patty. Correct, your pepper patty. Don't let hunger happen to you. Snickers. Correct, two great tastes that taste great together. I

Siobhan: 34:35

want to say it's Twix. It's not, I don't know that one too. I do peanut butter and chocolate. Oh, my God, it's my favorite candy in the whole wide world. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Kirkland: 34:49

Correct? Now, this is not a candy. Double your pleasure, double your funny. You already said double mint gum. Correct, that's rich.

Siobhan: 34:59

I can see the cup. Commercial, the chocolate drizzling. Yes, yeah, yeah, that's right, what?

Kirkland: 35:09

I don't know. It has a monetary amount,

Siobhan: 35:13

dollar, no paid. What is it called? I want to say it's a payday, but it's not. It's a million No,

Kirkland: 35:27

I don't know you. Do know what you just saw? It the drizzling over. Yeah, of the candy that's

Siobhan: 35:36

rich. Let's see, this is my why. I don't like trivia. My brain is now completely empty. 100 grand, 100 grand. It's white and blue, isn't it? The wrapper,

Kirkland: 35:50

it's all red, chocolate.

Siobhan: 35:53

Maybe that's why I was thinking of

Kirkland: 35:55

the Oh, the payday is all white, yeah, and the drizzle on that is just the peanuts. They don't judge only chocolate on it. 100 grand bar was introduced in what year. Our tiebreakers do not involve prices, right rules. If you're over and closest you win, under and closest you win, or obviously, if you're exact, you win paid Wait. 100 grand bar introducing what year?

Siobhan: 36:18

Hmm, 19. 53

Kirkland: 36:24

very good. Go up and try again.

Siobhan: 36:27

1962

Kirkland: 36:29

very good.

Siobhan: 36:30

64 Oh, all right, not bad. Not bad. It was in Jerusalem,

Kirkland: 36:33

1964 it was originally called the $100,000 bar, and later changed to 100 grand in the mid 1980s huh? I love that bar. I love Milky Ways. I used to love Milky Ways, dark, Milky Ways and Snickers, but caramel makes my throat feel funny for some reason. Oh no, it's like a tiny allergy. Or, who knows, the restroom, yeah, please, which way too,

Siobhan: 36:55

right across the hall. And then I'm gonna ask you one more thing about trivia. Okay,

Kirkland: 36:59

this is so nice. Well done. Thank you.

Siobhan: 37:03

You're welcome. I was just thinking, I can always edit that so I get them all right.

Kirkland: 37:12

Super editing. I have to get used the fact that I can use this indoors. So

Siobhan: 37:17

cool. That is cool. I have an oral fixation, so that would be good. This would be good, yeah, that's one of the reasons why I like to smoke weed right on.

Kirkland: 37:27

This has a nice weight. You can fidget with it. These tips are replaceable. The cores are easily replaced. Nice. The initial pack was 130 bucks already paying for itself. Very nice.

Siobhan: 37:41

All right, so sticking with trivia for a moment. Okay, what's the most impressive trivia flex no one talks about or appreciates enough

Kirkland: 37:52

that's hard to answer because there's so many as hosts, when I see people who say they hate trivia, I have you I used to say this, but it still happens. Every person who has ever said they hate trivia gets at least one right. That one answer, I've seen it a million times, has won that round or won the game, right? It really happens. It keeps happening. I can't stand trivia. Sometimes people say what you say, because it's true for them. I just don't feel smart. I don't feel comfortable playing this game right. Give it a shot nine times out of 10. It's a picture round that they'll get, that one picture that nobody else on the team got right, and then nobody else in the room got, and they win the round, and they love the trivia. It's crazy. When you say flex, what do you mean? Like, I don't

Siobhan: 38:35

know. I was just trying to think of like, what's something that you are like when there's a team that either has, like, a really good team name, or like they have a good vibe, or like they're just, oh, there's like, stuff like that. Like, what's like, the one thing that you're always like, this makes trivia, like, the good night, or, yeah,

Kirkland: 38:50

when people who were not ahead suddenly win the whole fucking thing. There was a team of three people this back when preacher's daughter was open. They came once a summer. I was working there, I think we did five years there, 2021 to 24 years older people. The daughter was my age, okay. They were a little overweight. They moved slow, and the other her parents were from another country, I think, Germany, okay, they dug the trivia. When they came here to visit her, they came to see me right on one night they came, I had, like, maybe 12 teams. Preacher's daughter always had a pretty consistent crowd. That's big, gotta say it. These three people were down. They were always mid range per every round, one team, the team of the owners, no no no collusion, no bullet. They were just a good team. They had 10 on the first round. Purpose going, this team had six or 710 on the next round. Purpose score. This team six or 710 on the third round. This team seven or eight and on the last picture, round 10. So they were rocking a perfect score, right? This team got eight, yeah, eight, the final round double points. Right? The team with the six people, they got another 10, but that's not a perfect score. This team got 14 and beat them. Wow, they beat them because they had just enough points with the double one, right? You have never seen elderly people raise their arms and gently get up like in a victorious if you and I do that right now, yeah, do it fast. These guys

Siobhan: 40:33

slow motion.

Kirkland: 40:36

I was like, they're doing it. They're doing the victory rise, but it's taking them a week to do it. That is one of the things that's I'm like, that's why I love trivia. Yeah, when you see people just lose their shit to win a trivia round. Currently, I had a good year last year, a really good year, good I've worked at five to six, maybe seven different places in Alameda, used to work at Harbor Bay. We did that once a month. And excuse me, private events. I can go to your house. I've done events for schools. I've done private birthday parties. I've done professional events in Oakland, all trivia. When I started a preacher's daughter, you just meet a bunch of people? Yeah, I know a lady named Kim Duckworth, and I know her husband, Lynn, and Kim invited me to try out at ansonville Yacht Club. That's once a month. Is for members only. We do it every third Sunday of the month. So I would do that. And people dug it. And sometimes it's a lot of people, sometimes not right. One night I had 99 people. It just happened they marketed hella and everything worked out. 100 people. The dining room and the bar era were full of Wow. One of the managers said, Hey, Kirk, there anybody can speed this up? There's no way I can speed this up. I have to go to every table, because I like as host to talk to everybody who's playing, right, just to chat them up, tease them and make them giggle, or get them to know me as a host, as a person, right? I do not like when teams hand over their work and come to me and I scored. I like to go to them part of the full service, right? One night, a gentleman had a device that looks like a phone, but it's a video game thing. Okay? He is a programmer, a software program. He said, I cannot figure out how to play the games on this thing. Maybe you can, like, do your program. I'm not gonna have a chance, like, just take the thing. So I took, I still had that thing. I still can't figure out how to do this game thing, and I've had it for two years. That Christmas had the sun that Sunday, before that Christmas week, he was there, and he said, Hey, Kirk, come over here. I'm like, Hey man, what's going on? Snap, he has me 100 bucks. I tip everybody 100 bucks who works here. Great service. And I love your trivia. Yes, look me up so we can come up with a way to spread the joy that you bring with trivia. Thanks, bro. I sure will. He gave me his email. I looked him up, super software guy. Yeah, he is not a big name in the public arena for software guys, but he's huge. He's huge. I'm not gonna

Siobhan: 43:14

say anything, right? Yeah, we'll keep his privacy. We'll keep his privacy.

Kirkland: 43:18

He sent me information on the companies that he feels is doing good work. He is a yes and multi millionaire who donated a million to eight companies who are doing good work. He said his kids are taken care of. They're all going to have a house and a couple of cars. They're going to be on their own right. Want to do something good for the planet, and he did something good for me too. He said, I love your trivia so much. One time gift over 10k Wow. I've been using that to add on to people who come to play trivia, like clubhouse drops 30 bucks for scratchers. I've matched that and give out double prizes. Wow. I've been giving$30 in Scratchers as prizes at fireside and at every place I host, swell bar different fluctuations, but I add on to what they offer, right? I can do that marketing for trivia. I can do that too. I did buy some marketing materials from a graphic designer I know in Detroit. Dude was a great guy. He hooked it up. Yeah, so I'm trying to do that, paying it forward. And also that's been helping with, uh, certain things I do need for trivial like new tabling. What have you, right? That guy's a saint. That guy's a good dude. So I just he posted on Reddit and a bunch of spots where he donated that kind of money, right? He just said, Just thumbs up this and we'll call it even. So I thumbs it up. That's it. Recall it even, wow, that's what kind of year I had last year. That's amazing, different, because I lost preacher's daughter because she sold the business, right? Why did she sell the business? That's her business. The reason she sold the business because she wanted to be with her kids, right? She was putting in 12 and 13 hours. Everybody who worked with her while she was there knew that she was doing everything. Ducking. They were doing right? If she had to wash dishes, she had to wash dishes. Had to do some serve food prep. She had to do food prep, delivering the food and doing all the paper too. Yeah, great boss. Great boss.

Siobhan: 45:12

She was fun to watch. She was, yeah, she was amazing, from what I've heard, and

Kirkland: 45:15

she's super fun to just hang out with. Yeah. Have you seen her do karaoke? No, her husband do karaoke. I don't think so. They are hilarious. They can crush it.

Siobhan: 45:23

My goal is to try karaoke this year, because I've never sang karaoke. They

Kirkland: 45:28

now have it at fireside on the first and third Sundays. And Hobnob is excellent for or for your warm up. If you can Thursday nights at clubhouse, hosted by Amanda. There's a few people there you can relax into it. Yeah, the karaoke community is supposed to be people who support you if you can sing or you can, right? It's always fun when people who can't sing act out the song, right? That is a stream. I've seen people do it at Hobnob, but now that girl can really sing, so now that she can really sing and she acts out the song.

Siobhan: 46:01

Nice, nice. Yep, nice. Yeah. I don't think I can really sing, but

Kirkland: 46:06

it's pick a song that you don't have. Yeah, there you go. It's perfect. You only say this word three times, tequila,

Siobhan: 46:13

that's all you do. I like for you, maybe even a little Janis Joplin, because that way it's supposed to sound kind of terrible.

Kirkland: 46:19

Yes, she could really sing. I know she could really sing, but you could do that too. Yep,

Siobhan: 46:23

little Mercedes Benz. Can you mock her?

Kirkland: 46:26

Would it be mockery, or would it be homage?

Siobhan: 46:30

Slightly? Both depends on, depends on how many tequilas and peanut butter sandwiches I've had.

Kirkland: 46:36

Let's talk about you have tequila with peanut butter? Because I was gonna say I'm already

Siobhan: 46:43

by the thrill. Was it Mama Cass that choked on a peanut butter sandwich? Or was it Janice Joplin, ham sandwich? Oh, ham sandwich.

Kirkland: 46:52

Let's look all of it up. Let's see you look up. Joplin, I look up. Okay, Mama, cast death cause of death? Died of a heart attack in London, two week run at the Palladium made for fleshy bro from a heart attack. There were no drugs. Mama Cass did not choke to death on a ham sandwich. She had a heart

Siobhan: 47:15

attack. Okay? Janice, overdue. Don heroin. Age 27 Oh, she's in a 27 club, huh? Yeah. Often side is part of the so called 27 club. That 27 club, do you know, off the top of your head, who, who's in it? Mr. Trivia Buddy Holly. Oh, not on this list.

Kirkland: 47:37

No. Okay, maybe he went 28 uh, Jimmy. Hendrix, yep,

Siobhan: 47:45

we had a round of this. That's what I figured you did, 20 names. Oh, this only has like five so

Kirkland: 47:52

Jim Hendrix, Not Buddy Holly. Ricky Nelson,

Siobhan: 47:59

well, now I have to ask who else is in it, because it only gives me five, because it gives me a couple, but from her, all Right, Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, Kurt, Cobain, Amy, Winehouse, lesser but also notable members, Brian Jones from Rolling Stones, Robert Johnson, blues guitars,

Kirkland: 48:30

guitars, yeah, he sold allegedly,

Siobhan: 48:33

Richie Edwards, who's only kind of presumed dead. He's guitarist for Manic Street Preachers never heard of Hmm. Ron pigeon, mckernman, founding member of Grateful Dead, okay. And Kristen plaff, bassist for whole Courtney loves Courtney loves band, yeah.

Kirkland: 48:56

Courtney Love had talent, but I wonder if she was riding the coattails before she put her band together. I don't

Siobhan: 49:03

know. I don't know, because I don't I think she was famous about the same time Kurt Cobain was and then they fell in love after maybe she was in a different band, maybe different bands. Okay, she has some skills, I thought. But our friend Jonathan butts has made out with her and danced with her. Yeah, every time she comes up, he tells that story. I'd brag about it. I'd brag about

Kirkland: 49:26

it too. With this was this before any work done?

Siobhan: 49:29

Yes, it was like college store. Yes.

Kirkland: 49:33

I mean, she was cute, but I mean, the work for her did come out?

Siobhan: 49:35

Okay, yes, yeah, some people who

Kirkland: 49:39

Lisa arena, yeah, Gary Hamlet's way,

Siobhan: 49:43

yep, oh yeah,

Kirkland: 49:45

full lips. Why would she increase that? But hey, it's her money.

Siobhan: 49:50

Her Yep. Do you think I had my lips done? Actually, did you I did? Did ya I did? But just a little

Kirkland: 49:56

like a tiny dot.net, yep. When was this

Siobhan: 49:59

about? Four months ago, because I have no upper lip usually, and then go for it. Yeah. And someone the other day, I was saying something. They were saying something about how no woman should ever do it.

Kirkland: 50:12

Blah, blah, blah. I can kind of tell now, but you'd have to put some lipstick on. I can

Siobhan: 50:15

kind of Yeah, just, but it's very light. And I said to the girl, I don't want to be like, and she's like, looking at me, and she's the full duck lip going. And I was like, you know, I just want to be

Kirkland: 50:24

soft. I don't want to look like you. That is adorable. Yep, young lady. But

Siobhan: 50:29

we had some because I was going to get my Botox, and they offered it to me for, oh, inexpensive.

Kirkland: 50:33

That's different. Yes, you didn't go out there saying, today's the day I'm living it up. No, they were

Siobhan: 50:37

like, Hey, do you want to? And I was like, I've always wanted to, but I'm scared to because I don't want to look that's totally fair. Yeah, you gave it a shot. And then I was out talking to friends, and he was like, oh, any woman that does anything to her face, blah, blah, blah. And I was, again, you mean, like a woman like me, because I do stuff to my face. And he was like,

Kirkland: 50:55

nobody could tell, yeah, which means it's good work, yeah? Plus you're not addicted to it. No,

Siobhan: 51:00

I couldn't afford it to be addicted to it. Mostly my elevens, okay, and a little in my like, smile lines. But your smile lines are great, yeah. But they get, like, a little too deep, and then you don't even have How old are you? I am 4045

Kirkland: 51:16

I keep saying, 46 you ready for it to happen?

Siobhan: 51:20

I don't know why I think 45 in 45 has been a good year right on, like it's been, it's been a wild ride. It's been a wild life. I

Kirkland: 51:28

mean, what has changed for you this year?

Siobhan: 51:33

I am more comfortable in me, I think good, like I have made the decision, like, I am going to go full force in this I'm gonna try to make this happen. And, you know, I keep this week, I've actually two different people come to me and be like, well, you know, you were, like, such an inspiration, or you're a huge turning point, or inspired me. And someone else was like, you know, you're his anchor. And I was like, I Okay. And I'm like, I love that. I've helped to, like, shift someone's perspective and help them make their life better, or, like, with Ducking reality, or just me, just me in general, yeah, but I'm like, getting the podcast can help do that to more people. That's the plan. Like, yeah, yeah. But I've always been a little like, who am I in imposter syndrome? And like, don't want

Kirkland: 52:16

you have never said I'm a therapist. You said we're just talking, yeah, we're just talking. Well, because that's an important distinction,

Siobhan: 52:23

yeah, and I think that's where people change. Like, the conversations I've had with random strangers across the bar, or sitting next to someone in the bar, or, like, I was talking to someone about how this woman, I was on a walk, and she, like, came up, and we ended up taking, like, a huge two hour walk together. Well, she was just talking to me about her daughter's upcoming wedding and all the stress about it. We just kind of, like, bullshitted our way through it. And

Kirkland: 52:43

like, that's bullshit that was just talking and listening Yeah, and she Yeah

Siobhan: 52:47

and like, that probably helped change her whole it does experience and like, those are, I think, where to

Kirkland: 52:52

listen and not interrupt, and especially not thinking about them, yeah, yeah.

Siobhan: 52:57

I think that's yeah. And not everyone can afford or we'll go seek it, but someone will listen to a conversation and be like, Oh, hey. Like, if that person went through that, I can get through this. Or like, oh, this doesn't have to define me, or whatever it is, like, or, Oh, I'm going to be in pain all the time. I might as well learn how to be paid in pain out in public, because it's not going to change from being on the couch. Like, being on the couch does not make your pain any better. It does not it actually, I think sometimes makes it worse. It depends on the level of pain. Yeah, sometimes you have to give in and you have to, like, couch it.

Kirkland: 53:30

Have you had any type of romantic relationship where the pain caused a problem? Yeah? Me too. Me too. Yeah, my ex husband used

Siobhan: 53:39

to tell me he didn't want to tell me he didn't want to touch me because he didn't want to make my pain worse. And I'm like, how about you touch me and then check in. Like, how about you just try not to not touch me ever, because then that feels worse. That feels worse because now I feel like I'm broken or damaged or correct, like, and that fucks me up even

Kirkland: 53:56

more. Here's another question, did he ever try to doctor you? Not really. Did any of your romantic partners try to doctor you? Why don't you try this? Why don't you try that? Let's

Siobhan: 54:06

try this. Oh yeah, yeah. Thank

Kirkland: 54:09

you for your help, but you're not a doctor, right? The doctors that I do have are doing the best they can with what they know after all their years of training, yep, sadly for me, medication does help? Yeah, it doesn't always help immediately, but it does knock things down, right? Yeah? And I like, it's sad and it's scary, because now I think me being 60 is not going to get any better, right, even if the medication gets better, but the romantic relationships, if I have a problem while we're out,

Siobhan: 54:38

right? Well, yeah, because it gets at for. And the other thing too is, at first they're okay with it. They think they can do and they're like, Oh no, no, it's fine. It's fine. Oh, it's almost like, cute that you're now in pain and we have to take you home and take care of you. And then it's like, again, it gets old, super fast, super fast. And then they get, like, resentful towards it, or angry. And you're like, Yeah, I just rather not have someone than. Have to, like, explain to you why I

Kirkland: 55:01

need to go through that right now. We had a blast for five weeks, but I think it's over. That sucks. I had pain when we went out. And the worst part is not just the pain. Some drunk lady touched her inappropriately, and I wasn't there to help. Oh, I think she got so mad about that. She hasn't said it, but her whole, well actually, before we that even happened, everything kind of shifted anyway, because I was in pain, things kind of shifted. She said to me weeks ago, I don't abandon people, but yeah, it's coming. My head's ready for it. Yeah, it sucks. But you know what? I'm not trying to put anybody through anything that's problematic for them. Yep, we had a good time. Yeah, sometimes all I can say,

Siobhan: 55:47

sometimes I wonder if, because I haven't dated a lot, and I've been trying to, in the last like month or so, I've been trying to, like, get myself back out there, and, like, I would like to have a partner or maybe a couple, thinking about the poly thing, maybe that would work for me. But I also, like, don't want people in my house, like, when I get home and I'm that tired and I No, no, keep it on, yeah. And I like, am like, I just need to get to my tub. I just need to get to my heating pad. I just need to, like, smoke a whole joint to my head and not feel this bad. And I don't want to have to talk to you about how I'm feeling like,

Kirkland: 56:19

Oh, my God. Do you think that you have spoiled yourself with that self love, self care to the point where, like, I really don't need anybody sometimes, I sometimes think that too. Yeah, I was praying about this. I want to grow her, not I have one. It's like, and now that that just happened, it's like, I don't need to put anybody through that. And she knows it's not intentional, right? But should she have to go through this, right? I shouldn't phrase it like that. If I could help my pain and not get sick, I'd never be sick. No one would.

Siobhan: 56:52

Yeah, yeah, anything shifted, and it gets there, and I get like, their frustration in it. I understand it, but it's also like, I can't, do you understand my frustration with it? Like I can't take like, I can't control my own body, correct? I can't I could do everything right, and do all of the things I'm supposed to do, and all of a sudden, will be angry for some reason and be like, same here, yeah, I'm just not today, or I will do stuff, and I won't be like, as bright and shiny as I always am. And then it's like, but you're just why you so what's going on? I'm like, I'm good. I'm just a little uncomfortable today. My pains a little higher today. But what else? What else? What else? What else? No, no, it's just that. Just told you that, yeah, are you sure that's it,

Kirkland: 57:31

do you? And you can pinpoint some reasons why it happens, right? Oh, yeah, I have three main reasons, stress, what? Uh, barometric pressure change will always cause pain. And like I said before, something that happens to my physical body, an outside source will trigger it. Yeah, lately, it's just been these crazy fucking weather shifts. When it's super cold, something will happen when it warms up, some will happen, yeah, when it's super hot, some will happen super cold, some will happen. Everything in between. Well, if I were to live in a spot where seasons happened. Like I grew up in Detroit, yeah, every seasonal change would trigger something, but once that weather gets consistent, I'm okay, right? But I was living in a stressful situation. When I was living in Detroit, I was always sick, yeah, when I was married, I got sick a lot. It was a stressful situation. No matter how much time you try to suppress your feelings and emotions. Makes things worse,

Siobhan: 58:21

yep, because it seeps out in other ways. It sure. And for us, because we deal with pain, it seeps out that way.

Kirkland: 58:27

It does seep out that way, or it explodes out that way, or it gushes out that way, however it works. Yeah. Have you ever had the freight train of pain where always coming up is here, yeah? Or the slow moving train of pain, yeah? If I get to the hospital and give you these meds, and maybe if we time it right, the hard pain will be here. I'll be at 11 right. The meds will be right there, yeah,

Siobhan: 58:46

or, like, by the time I'm getting get to 11, it'll are the meds will already be in me. So I'll only be at 11 for like an hour, and then it'll back down, and I can be at like a seven right before I can even realize I'm in that much of an 11. When

Kirkland: 58:59

you were in that much of an 11, how long time did you spend in the hospital before it all went away? Oh,

Siobhan: 59:06

sometimes it depends on the case. Sometimes it was a few hours right on. Sometimes I'd be looking at the nurse being like, you sure you gave me stuff. Like, what are we doing, right? Like,

Kirkland: 59:18

would your whole body change? Like, you're crumbling up a pain, crying and weeping or shouting, yep, it's the same with sickle cell. It's the same thing. What is the cause of your chronic pain? Well, for a while it was endometriosis, okay? But then I dated a lady with that way back in the 80s, yeah, and I don't have a baby yet. No, you know that will cure it

Siobhan: 59:34

well. So when I was 1718, night, I kept asking for hysterectomy, because I'm like, so like, I had a schedule surgically diagnosed in my freshman year in high school. Okay, so what do you like? 12 or 13? But I had pained. I got my period when I was like nine and a half. Oh, wow. And by 10,

Kirkland: 59:53

yeah, we're living with it, oh yeah for a solid year, yeah.

Siobhan: 59:57

And then by the time I was like 10, i. Uh, an 11, I was in so much pain all the time that I had a but I think by the time I was 12, I had a prescription for morphine, because that's how bad my pain would be at 12 years old. Yeah, and

Kirkland: 1:00:10

prescription, yeah, not No, five milligram prescription, like, a 30,

Siobhan: 1:00:17

like, uh, yeah, because I would, they would just, like, because I would get it for like 13 days. So your periods usually seven days. It can be five to seven days, but you would get like, cramps before, cramps during, and sometimes cramps after. So for like 10 to 14 days, I would be in terrible pain.

Kirkland: 1:00:33

You were having to rock four to five morphine pills a day.

Siobhan: 1:00:38

And then, are we lucky? Yeah, so lucky. And and then, like that, I said, Can I just have a hysterectomy? Like, take it out. I don't need to have a baby. Like, have you seen my cousins? I have 1000 of them. Like, I agree. I'll just steal one of them. If I have I need a kid or I'll adopt. Adoption is great. Adoption is great. The kids are out there. They need love. You're not old enough to make that decision, but here we're gonna put you on hormone blockers and all this other stuff.

Kirkland: 1:01:02

Oh, not to say, take out my lady parts. Yes, I can have a baby, but you're gonna put me on all this BS that can make things worse in other parts of my life.

Siobhan: 1:01:10

Or you can have a baby. Yeah, that was their option. That was their option, drugs or have a baby. So you're gonna tell a 17 year old, I'm not old enough to make the decision that I don't want kids, right? But I am old enough to make the decision. I do want one. So you think as 17, 1819, year old, even I should have, in Massachusetts, it was illegal for a woman to get a hysterectomy before the age of 26 because you might change your

Kirkland: 1:01:35

mind. Who writes those laws? White men. Means, yep, white men. White men's let's, I want That's right. That's right, because they are the ones who said Roe v Wade is wrong. Yeah. They have no clue about a woman's physiology, nope. And they still think they

Siobhan: 1:01:50

probably have never made their wives come, but they think they should ever, ever. The amount of women I know that have not had orgasms with a partner, even at my age, is like, I'm like, Well, you at least have them by yourself, right? Like, and some of them don't even still. Are like, I mean, I think so. Or like, I they're like, I don't know if I really ever got there, and I don't know. I'm like, let's go to a class that is so sad. Let's figure

Kirkland: 1:02:16

something class now, YouTube will have some Oh yeah,

Siobhan: 1:02:19

yes, that is sad. Yeah, it is. It's terrible, and

Kirkland: 1:02:23

I don't know what's sad, or the fact that this exists, or the fact that it's going to keep existing, because we are now in The Handmaid's Tale.

Siobhan: 1:02:30

Yeah, I can't watch that movie, the when the handmade series? Yeah,

Kirkland: 1:02:35

I think I got through episode center like, I'm not gonna watch this, because it's all coming true. Yeah,

Siobhan: 1:02:39

when it first I think this when the second season was out, people kept talking about it, so I started to try to watch it, and I was just like, I couldn't, I couldn't sit down. I was like, Nope, it's too real. It's happening. Yeah? Like, and I don't understand how we're going backwards. Yeah,

Kirkland: 1:02:53

you do. You don't want to admit it. I really, I It's

Siobhan: 1:02:56

so far from the way I think I know. But you know why? Because old white men are threatened that the world is just becoming more brown, gayer and and

Kirkland: 1:03:05

they talk diverse people who are eligible to vote to make sure that they get that type of thinking into the mainstream. But, but worse, they don't care that it's affecting them too, until it does affect and now they say, I didn't vote for that, but you did. But you did. You were warned no one wanted to read. Did you read project 2025,

Siobhan: 1:03:27

I started to but I was like, this is gonna have, like, our lives are falling apart.

Kirkland: 1:03:31

I've read the comic version of it so I could digest it, smart, horrible,

Siobhan: 1:03:36

like, I read parts of it that. I was just like, if you get it to this part, like, you have to be, like, this whole documents fucked, right? And like, we're not going to really do this. And then I kept thinking, no one would read past where I read, and think that this was a good idea, or that there could be more good ideas in here, because, like, nothing I read was a good idea.

Kirkland: 1:03:53

You really give people a lot of credit.

Siobhan: 1:03:55

I just, I keep trying to, I don't know why.

Kirkland: 1:03:59

The same thing, he kept saying he can't do that. I'm like, Dude, we're not. We're past that. He can't because he is, yeah, well, you are right. They could sue him to get him to stop. He's just gonna keep you doing it. Yeah, and the laws are gonna take forever, and if they do get passed through, he's just gonna appeal them or get rid of those judges. Yep. So what do we do? What do we do? Fight Club, it can we fight club would have to lead to guns. Well, I mean, that just they blow up the buildings. At the end of it, there was a show called Designated Survivor. Did you ever

Siobhan: 1:04:29

watch? Oh, yes, my dad used to love that show. I could

Kirkland: 1:04:32

only watch the first season. I'm like, it's all it's happening looped back. It all became the same shit it was when

Siobhan: 1:04:37

it started. Right? That's the worst part. Is we have all these, like, you know, science fiction esque, like dystopian TV shows and movies that are like projecting where we're going.

Kirkland: 1:04:47

But everyone says that can't happen here. It can't happen here, but it's happening under our very noses. Yeah, it's literally happening.

Siobhan: 1:04:54

And I but I still, yeah, what the whole Alligator Alley Alcatraz thing? Like I was. Like, that can never happen. And, like, three days later, it was like, people are there, people are there. And I'm like, How are we? Like, is the movie holes? Remember the movie where the kids used to just dig ditches? Like, don't care. How? How do you not care about a

Kirkland: 1:05:12

person? Because it didn't directly happen to them, but they're

Siobhan: 1:05:15

only moments away from it happening to them. They still think

Kirkland: 1:05:18

it's not gonna happen to him. That's one of the things that's going on, but you don't think it's not

Siobhan: 1:05:21

gonna happen. Yeah, people that were voting in not their best interest that I just

Kirkland: 1:05:26

part of it is the hate. I don't want any brown skin person or any black person or any gay person, or any blah blah blah to have something good that would help me, because they don't deserve it, because they're

Siobhan: 1:05:38

that, right? But how do you distill someone down to a label?

Kirkland: 1:05:43

They don't care, they just they hate to hate,

Siobhan: 1:05:46

but it's like being an asshole that takes more effort, like

Kirkland: 1:05:48

they don't care, as long as they don't get it, I don't need it, until they do need it, right? Look at the floods that just happened. Yeah, it's sad. Now I have this question they ask you traveling? Woman, hmm, can you see moving out of this country? Yes. Do you know where you would go? I don't. She was like, you've got some research? Yeah, this little set of magnets tells me that you are researching on the low.

Siobhan: 1:06:14

Yeah. Like, I because I've had a few friends that now are expats and that have moved out, and they love living in Europe, I

Kirkland: 1:06:21

have a question. Are they dual citizenship or complete expats?

Siobhan: 1:06:24

Most of them are like Visa is in on their way to dual citizenship. Some of them are just on work visas. Some of them are looking into it.

Kirkland: 1:06:32

Are your friends who are there? Let's say they're there for three months and they've been there and you're kind of moving in that direction. Are those countries move in as an expat? Laws getting more stringent?

Siobhan: 1:06:48

Not so far, okay, not so far. But I have heard rumblings of things being

Kirkland: 1:06:51

harder. Are any of these people black?

Siobhan: 1:06:56

No, okay, okay, no two are of Latin descent, but not no, none of my black friends have left this country yet.

Kirkland: 1:07:07

The Latin people, what country do they choose? Two, one is

Siobhan: 1:07:11

in Spain, and one is in I think she's in Greece. Now, okay, but she wasn't sure where she was staying. Right on, she was Greece and she was in buck, maybe Italy before that, okay? She wasn't sure, Italy or Greece. The

Kirkland: 1:07:26

reason I'm asking is because there's a lady that I follow on YouTube and on threads, Nicole Phillip. I think her name a lovely, dark skinned woman. She and I, I think she's a little lighter than me, okay, but she has to preface it sometimes. She's traveled the world. How do they treat black women? How do they treat dark skinned black women? Where she goes, right? She says, Columbia is the jam. Oh, dark skinned black people. You're like instant their family. Nice. It is nice. Where else could I go? Right? But first you got to build up a stack of money. You got to have some loot. You do, yeah, and because of the sickle cell, you gotta have some kind of work because they don't want you to move there, because suddenly you got the perfect health care, right? You got to do something, yeah, contribute,

Siobhan: 1:08:08

yeah. And you have to, like, I have a friend that does. She's in Amsterdam now, and she's been there, I think, two years, but she started her own company because she couldn't get hired because of the work visa. But if she started her own company, it was easier for her to get a work visa to move there, and she's working on her citizenship

Kirkland: 1:08:23

score, yeah, and what's her What does her company do? She does grant

Siobhan: 1:08:27

writing. What? Yeah, can do that. So she did grant writing here, but she moved there, and she's been doing a lot of grant writing, I think, still for the US, because that's where most of her clients have been from. But she does it from there, and that works for her, arguable,

Kirkland: 1:08:41

a digital nomad, yep, killing it, yeah, kind of happy

Siobhan: 1:08:44

there, yeah, she loves it right on. She loves it. And she

Kirkland: 1:08:48

don't even smoke weed, does she? Well, they, I understand. They changed the bars there too. They used to be weed bars. It's not what it used to be, but what is what it used

Siobhan: 1:08:59

to be? I will have to go and investigate, add it to my list. But you've been there already, right? I have I went to Amsterdam, but not for the last 20 years. Yeah, I have a cousin that lives there. He lives part time in Amsterdam and part time in Portugal. How cool is that? Yeah, he moved to Europe when we were young, like, for his job, and then he just never came back, right? Yeah, his job sent him over for like, a year or two, and then he met this beautiful man, and they fell in love, and it's been happy

Kirkland: 1:09:28

and jealous. Yeah, he moved across the planet, found a Love is life. Demo, yeah, and they're still together.

Siobhan: 1:09:35

Yeah, they've been married 22 years now. I think I keep saying, like, I'm coming back out to visit

Kirkland: 1:09:41

you. Pause there so I can cry openly. Yeah,

Siobhan: 1:09:44

yes, please. Let me grab some

Kirkland: 1:09:49

what a story. Oh, yeah, that's so good. He's

Siobhan: 1:09:51

super smart, too. He retired at 40, and we went back to work because he was bored. What

Kirkland: 1:09:58

I have a six o'clock. Actually, I have to be there at six o'clock. All right, let's wrap this up. Then, what a talk. I know. Thank you. Thank you. You know what I do have to do this. More nervous about this, because normally I start talking, I won't shut up, and I don't want to give all my business

Siobhan: 1:10:12

away. No, but I think just really hearing your pain and like, because you the one thing I want before we wrap this up. Okay, um, I use because since we talked you had your hip surgery.

Kirkland: 1:10:25

Hip surgery was in May of 2023, right? So, yeah, I'd been on the list for four years because

Siobhan: 1:10:31

we had been talking about your pain, and how has that helped with the sickle cell pain? Because you got kind of rid of one pain, okay? I mean, now I know the inside baseball, but of the other side,

Kirkland: 1:10:44

here's what story with insurance. I was my last job, if you will, was with a non profit organization, ARBs was in Oakland. They were headquartered in Philadelphia. That company, the had great insurance and great benefits. The insurance company had me on their long term disability since 2011 Oh, wow, when everything went to hell in 2010 because I got so sick, they had to call family in from Detroit because they didn't know I was going to make it. Oh, wow. Two years after that, finally, disability, but I only get half a disability check because the insurance company was covering the rest, right? They only covered monetary they did not cover anything health wise. That's why Medicare works for me. If the government gets rid of Medicare, yeah. Okay, so the hip operation. I had hip operation in 2002 on the right hip. I was working then, so the insurance covered that right. When that Job was over 2008 I was on long term disability, just for monetary and I get that check once a month, the disability check from the United States government that I put into the other two Yeah, that I've earned. Yeah, all right. So as of two years ago, when I first had to have the surgery, they were saying, we are going to have to cut you off because the surgery was successful. Oh, they thought that they knew the sickle cell caused the hip problem because it was that in arthritis, right? They were leaning on more the arthritis side of that. Now that you have your hip surgery, we don't have to pay you anymore. There's another cut. Another company that bought them, and they were cleaning house, so they were closing claims, left, right and center. My doctor, not the surgeon, my main doctor in San Francisco, General. Her name is Robin. She wrote a 13 page letter describing what sickle cell is and why it's difficult for Kirkland to work. Kirkland looks great all the time, if you will. Right? He dresses dapper, blah, blah, but that does not mean he's not in pain. People around here saw me when I was in pain before the surgery, I was basically almost on a cane. I didn't look right. I was on a shit ton of meds, and I was faking it to do the work of hosting trivia. When that was over, I took the few weeks off to recover. When I got back to work, I heard it everywhere I went, dude, you look fantastic. I'm glad so you're doing better. Blah, blah, blah. The insurance company said you are doing better, and if you can ride your bike, you don't need our money. They tried to cut me off. Wow, so that was a threat that was happening, and somebody hooked me up with a GoFundMe thing, and that helped me with those months, because they did cut me off. That was a $1,100 a month gone. Sure, the trivia helps, but it's not that much money if I was working for it,

Siobhan: 1:13:31

right? Yeah, a lot of money you get basically

Kirkland: 1:13:35

tips, like basically tips, some spots weren't paying, but then they all started paying, because I became kind of a commodity, yeah, kind of work out it did, kind of work out that GoFundMe helped me pay for most of his medication and the surgery, because Medicare only covers 80% right? Two surgeons would not operate on me because they can't say it, but they were basically saying, I'm not doing all this work for 80% of the pay. Right? The surgeon that did do it, he was like, This is my first he did it. It was successful. He came to my bed post op and said, let me show you something. This is you. Now, you were my first patient I've ever done a hip replacement for he said, Just fix broken arms and broken legs. And I was like, right on, bro, yeah, I've heard two people that started like, fuck that. That's some bullshit. He should have told you this from jump. I'm like, had you been experiencing the pain I experienced for four years? You would have said, I want you to do it. And you don't even have surgical training, the pain was so immense, yeah, and I was on so many meds, any part in the storm,

Siobhan: 1:14:35

yeah? You would have let me do it in the kitchen, correct? Yep. Just

Kirkland: 1:14:39

pour all the man's down my throat. Let's go, yep. People don't understand what chronic pain can do. This guy knocked it out. I have not had a problem on that hip since. The problem is the Overcompensation on the other hip, the left hip, because the right hip is the one that got replaced in 2023 right the hip got replaced in 2002 maybe that hip, that ball joint, is messed up. Or maybe the. Musculature and the sinew from the conversation of walking, cane crutch et cetera has caught up with me. I'm living in that pain right now as we speak, I took minutes before we started discussion. I'm gonna take another minute before I go to work tonight.

Siobhan: 1:15:14

Yeah, I was hoping that that's what's up. You've had some more relief, because I know when I saw you right after surgery, you were having, like, you had, like, a little golden period where you didn't have much pain at all. The pain was super we were like, it's just recovery pain. It feels it almost feels good. Yes, I mean,

Kirkland: 1:15:30

I still try to go dancing. The pain that I'm experiencing right now has been going on for the past three weeks because the weather during the day, what do we got? 50, 6070,

Siobhan: 1:15:38

degree, the coldest summer San Francisco has had since 1983

Kirkland: 1:15:42

not a surprise, what's it at night between 49 degrees and 59 degrees at night. So all that little bumping around barometric pressure creates weather chips, and that's the kind of pain I'm in. That's what's triggering it. Yeah, if we were having 70 degree d days and 60 degree nights, I bet there'd be no pain.

Siobhan: 1:16:01

No pain, no problem. Yeah. I said to some I was at the pool this morning, doing my workout, and one of the women's like, how are you today? And, like, I could see on her face, she was like, you don't look like you're you look like you're having a rough day. And I was just like, I just need the sun. Like, the pools probably, like in the 70s, 60s, 70s. Like, it's not warm, not a warm pool. No. I mean, they have a hot tub there, sure, but the pool, like the Olympic sized swimming pool, is not heated, so it's, it's a little chilly, but I was just like, I just need the sun and it, it's like, the easiest way of saying, like, one, like, the gray days make me a little gray, like, I have a little bit of the seasonal depression, but it's also this weather makes my body hurt, right? Because it's like, almost on the cusp of raining, like it's been sprinkling a little less.

Kirkland: 1:16:46

Where's the rain? Yeah, if it cracks open, maybe we get some humidity, maybe it'll warm up a little bit. But are you living on a five right now?

Siobhan: 1:16:53

Yeah, between a five and six. I got up the other day from my chair and someone was like, Are you all right? I'm like, Uh huh. Just takes me a minute to get going, yeah, by the time I got up and like, moving, and like, once I'm moving, you can't tell as much, right, but the transition from sitting to standing right is like, my

Kirkland: 1:17:10

lady friend was over the other day. I went outside to have a cigarette, and I came back in. The pain had jumped from a four to eight. I had to sit down. I had to sit down. The pills were right in my pocket. I'm like, I am in too much pain to reach in my pocket, unscrew this little cap and get this one mid. Yeah, and we still went out. I still tried to go out. We saw a couple live bands. It was fun, but I had to go and sit down a lot. Yeah, that was not good. It was not good. But now, now she knows, yeah. I mean, I don't like it, but I think she's gonna make that decision, and if she doesn't, by the end of the week, we still have plans to do a couple things. We're gonna do those things because my plans are set, yeah, but if it fizzles, yeah, and I can do about it, I hate that. I

Siobhan: 1:17:53

hope it doesn't fizzle.

Kirkland: 1:17:55

I hope, I hope it's I can, well, we had sizzle, but I gotta say this, if this is how it goes, it's nobody's fault, right? It's just how it is.

Siobhan: 1:18:06

Thank you so much. Thank you, Kirkland. I'm gonna let you go, because you have to go get ready for trivia. Love talking to you, and we'll see you next time. Yes, all right, y'all Thank you for listening. We're gonna

Kirkland: 1:18:16

hug guys. We're hugging it out. Yes, yay.

Siobhan: 1:18:20

Thank you. All right, y'all go find some joy, and we'll talk to you soon. We love you.