Raymond Moore

This week I sit down with a Raymond Moore, musician and world traveler to talk about what it was like to move to Norway and raise a family. Our conversations covers the uncomfortable subject of racism and the difference between racisms in Norway compared to racism in the US. Raymond has continued to smile and spread love instead of hate. I hope this conversation helps inspire others to get to know themselves more and maybe look at the world a little different. A little more like Raymond. 

Check back for links to Raymond's music which will be dropping soon. 

Transcript

Siobhan: 0:00

Hey y'all. Welcome to decking realitea. This is Siobhan first, apologies for the lack of episodes, the last two weeks, life has been absolutely kicking my ass. I started a new job. Technically, I started three new jobs in the last two weeks. One was just a weekend gig that didn't work out so well. One was at a comedy club, which I was really excited about. But the third, or the actually, the first one I had started two weeks ago, was at a local bar. I'd signed up just to do a couple nights a week, but it looks like it's gonna turn into a full time position, which I couldn't be more excited about. It's been a while since I've been in the local bar as a bartender, and I forgot how much I missed it and how much I love just that camaraderie and community and sharing people's lives that way. I am blessed to have found this little place. It's run by this badass woman, who just the more I learned about her is I'm blessed I found another unicorn to have in my life. She not only owns a dope bar with a kick ass logo, that when I first the first time I walked by I was like, Oh, that'll be my bar, that'll be my local place. But then to find out how active she is in the community, and then all the things that she did during the pandemic, to not only keep her business afloat, and keep all of her employees employed and making money. She took it a step further and got even more people employed and really saved like a whole section of the little town that I live in here in California. And it was absolutely amazing. Maybe she'll even let me interview her one day. Bye, but so I'm very excited about that. But I've been very busy kind of getting up to speed and doing that. Managing new jobs and my pain protocols and my self care routines, and then some scheduling conflicts and some bullshit came up. And that's one of the other reasons where where the why there wasn't any episodes. And you'll hear more about that later in a future episode. So yeah, it's been a wild, crazy two weeks. But hopefully, now that everything is getting settled in, we will be consistent and putting out episodes every week on Tuesday. I have really exciting interviews lined up and starting to get them on tape on on tape. There we go. Let's do it ourselves. Yeah, so today's episode, I talked to Raymond Moore, I met Raymond at a local bar down the street from the one I'm working at. We just started shooting the shit. And he had a really crazy story. And he was busting out in his Norwegian accent. And so we sat down and had a conversation, the conversation just as a trigger warning, he does drop the N word during the conversation, we get into a race conversation. He was an East Bay guy who went to Norway, and we talked kind of about the racism there versus here. We talk a bit about his music and growing up and kind of the biggest takeaway is that I got from Raymond and you can really feel it when you're talking to him, or when you see him interacting with someone that is kind of maybe looking for a fight as he does have this calm energy. And he's always smiling and to hear his story and hear how he has maintained that composure and good worldview was just moving and inspiring again, I'm so grateful that I found this place and have been meeting so many of these amazing people. And then I get to share these experiences with all of you. And can't wait to hear about all your experiences in the joy that you're finding out there in the world. So, roll Ajay, pour a drink or grab a coffee, whatever your pleasure is. And listen to this episode with Raymond. Love to you all. A lot of people yet because I'm still new to like the whole area. Everything.

Unknown: 4:15

So Lou was trying to get me to talk to me. She's like, you're not talking to me. That's like, yeah, I will talk to you, of course. And then no, we talked about it. She said you want to give me a 10 You took five for me. 20 Because all I have is a stack of 20s I said so when I come outside. I only got Tony's no no. You can't What can I say? Okay, where we're just gonna drop it. I said you got anything against me? against you? Drop it.

Siobhan: 4:52

Like, and then like everybody's kind of giving you shit sometimes. I can't do anybody shit anymore. Like and even when it's hot. Even when it's on like, good fun sometimes you're just like, I'm fucking done with everybody's bullshit, you know? Thank you for water, which isn't always great, but it's what happens. Oh, you're very welcome. Can I get you anything else? I'm just gonna check our levels. Because there we go. You just want to say something.

Unknown: 5:23

Okay, hello. Perfect. All right.

Siobhan: 5:27

So welcome Raman to the ducking reality world. All right. So the pod is kind of about people sharing their stories and what they've been through. And when we met at the bar, what, two weeks ago, three weeks ago, you were telling me how you grew up here in the Bay, and then went to sweet Finland, Norway, Norway. We Mike and I are having a fight about that the other night because I was like, he was like he was in. I think he had seen Stockholm. And I was like, No, Sweden. I don't know why we didn't get Norway. Where the neighbors? Yeah. So but how did you end up going? Or why don't you tell us kind of a little bit about your story. Your words like, who you are, how you ended up where you are, and what you've been working on?

Raymond Moore: 6:06

I am Alameda City native. I've not been here since the 70s. So I'm in school here. Got a lot of trouble here at times. And I was pretty good kid. But I wasn't a normal kid, though. For an example, for example, meaning like, when I was like 14, I was like, into weightlifting. Alright, already know me. So I was like, bigger than all the other kids much bigger and much stronger than them too. So it's like, when I when I became a freshman, so I was gonna play football, right? So we all go into the weight room to workout. So I go up in there, and then I'm stacking on plays, they see this little 14 year old guy stacking on plates right by about 250 300 panels. And I'd start hitting like he was not shit. Work. Well, what are you doing? 15 Man, you hit me like that. Like that. So you know, I was known around here for being a little a little strong Qi Gong man. Like my sound my friends is coming baby man because a man body with a baby face.

Siobhan: 7:14

Baby man coming down the pike.

Unknown: 7:18

So I play a lot of sports. I'm a baseball player. A deal of boxing, little wrestling. I did a little bit Eric. Yeah. Try it. I'll

Siobhan: 7:27

see what you like. Right. Right. Right. Nice.

Unknown: 7:29

So then, you know, I got into the music business. My cousin he has signed with Atlantic Records. Right. So when he signed he, he brought me along. So when you go do shows and travel the United States, I was with him. Awesome. Yeah. So you know, I've been like, hanging out with all of them. Fill me with a bar famous people. You know? That's back in 96. Yeah, yeah. So did that for a while. Then. I met this girl from Norway out here. So she was staying at a friend's house. And I go and visitors and we became friends. And then one thing led to another and now she got pregnant. And then we got married. I knew her for like, one month and I married her. Wow. Yeah. So we got married. And then we got on a plane and went to Norway. And I was there for 20 years.

Siobhan: 8:21

Oh, I didn't realize it was about a girl that got you to go to Norway. That makes a lot more sense.

Unknown: 8:29

Why not all places Norway. Yeah. So my plan was only to go there for like two years. Maybe? Australia. Check it out. For 20. I love it over

Siobhan: 8:41

here. Yeah. What made you eventually come back?

Unknown: 8:45

Well, she and I was having issues and then I sound a little work issues. I was having weather issues because some of the work I do is working outside because I was in the construction field there. So it was so cold and I'd be freezing for eight hours. It'd be like minus 25 I'm like I'm going home

Siobhan: 9:09

yeah, Kelly boy in like a cold country doesn't seem like it

Unknown: 9:13

could take no more than two. So all of that played a role for me. So I couldn't even get home either. I was broke. I was real bro. I was doing real bad. So one day, they got this a game called Nabu log and Nabu log is like, let's say you was playing out blue log, right. And let's say you want a million right? Now, let's say I'm playing now blue log also. And let's say I live three blocks down. Now just because you won that million and I live three blocks down. I'm going to win 100,000 What? Yeah, that's fine. That goes over there. So So one day, I had like, for example, 25 bucks, and I was like, It's my last 25 bucks, man. Should I do it? Should I play it? And I was like I play it. So I played it. Then I went to a party right and now we at the party we drink in a good time. And then my phone go ding Oh, 100,000 Right, right. Let me see. Let me see. Look. They owe me man. Congrats, man. That's great man. Got my airplane ticket. Got off Wow, man, somebody's looking out for me. Yeah, cuz I was in a bad place.

Siobhan: 10:31

Yeah, it's you're not the first person I've heard with that, like kind of story where their last like whatever, they gamble it on something and then it pays off like, Well, that was the universe like, rewarding you for belief in them or something like I but that's incredible. When $100,000

Unknown: 10:47

crooner kroner that's only like 15,000 10,000.

Siobhan: 10:55

But still, that's a nice chunk of change. Yeah.

Unknown: 11:01

Right. Right. Right. So I was happy about that. You know, I mean, so you know, but okay, what I was doing, I wasn't just in the construction field. I was also in a solar sail industry. Oh, yeah, I was dealing with. Okay, like when the scientists make this product cost Elysium. You know, selenium, or selenium. It comes from the mountain and it looks like a stone. And on the edge of it, you see this silver, you might think it was silver, but it's not silver dough is trash. So we cut that part off, and then we wash it, and then we Sam blow it and then we put it under not a microscope, but an x ray camera. So so we can see inside of this mineral. So when we look inside this mineral, if we see, like these black dots inside of them, that means it got to go away. So then we take it into this room where we put our hands in this box and got gloves like this, and we hold on to the nasal, and then we step on the pedal. So I'm stepping on a pedal, it's gonna spray this sand, right and then but it don't look like sand. It looked like a light. Oh, so So now when we hit in this Elysium, when you see sparkles, that means you are hitting that stuff that you post a beat here. So when you see the sparkle disappear, that means it's gone. And you got to be very fast. And you got to get all love, and you got to spray up the whole thing. So I was working for this company, right? And we was like, it's not like 30 of us. And you know, this business is a trillion dollar business. Right? So we was in competitions with like, huge corporations, right? I got like, 200 people, you know how to time 30 We was producing the most Elysium in the whole Norway only 30 people. Holy shit. Oh, we was working hard. And now.

Siobhan: 12:54

Wow, what do you like? Do you guys just have longer shifts? And most companies like how did you or was it just we

Unknown: 13:00

were 12 hour shifts? within 12 hours? I do like, one week gone during I get like a week off. And we gone like this. Yes. Right. It's very nice. It's very fun.

Siobhan: 13:12

Yeah, just sandblast and shit all days.

Unknown: 13:14

Like cutting. Yeah, you know me, using like these big songs like this. And then we might have like, some big blocks of the release. And so we stack them like this. Boom. And then now we turn on a song called door and it's in the dislikes. And so you know, the block like this study slice until about like this. So you might get like five or six pieces out of it. And then we send it somewhere else. And then they do something. They send it somewhere else and they do something with it. Yeah.

Siobhan: 13:43

Oh, wow. That's so interesting. What do they use that for?

Unknown: 13:47

Oh, they melted on solar panels.

Siobhan: 13:49

Oh, okay. Oh, so is that like the thing that what makes the solar panels like that shiny black? Reflective?

Unknown: 13:55

Right. Oh, all right. Yeah. Wow. Dealing with that. I was dealing with also was signed with a hip hop close brand company from Denmark. So it was it was real big too. So like, they got these international fashion shows in Denmark. So then, you know, when it happens, then I gotta go to your to and then I you know, I wear their clothes. And, and I do performances there. You know? I mean, yeah, I mean, was he?

Siobhan: 14:22

Yeah, because it I mean, in my brain I because I've never been to Norway, so I just assumed that Norway is mostly white. Yeah. Like the diversity over there is was there it was there. Like, is there much diversity? I don't want to sound ignorant, but I really have no idea. Like, I would just think it's mostly white people and like, how many people have like kind of transplanted out there?

Unknown: 14:47

Well, you know what, like, what I went through in 2000. Yeah. So in the little town I lived in was called Porsgrunn. Port coulomb, yeah. Porsgrunn so When I first got there, like if I'm in the store, like people be looking at me like they never saw a black person before, you know, I mean, like, I'm like a white man like, because they never saw somebody like you. But as the years went on, it seemed like a flood of people started coming in from all over the world. And then it became normal. I made those look stopped, because it got normal. So it is a lot of diversity. Oh, well, that's

Siobhan: 15:25

nice, because you also speak fluent Norwegian. Yeah. Which just seems which isn't funny. But it does seem funny when you're in a barn like just outside of Oakland. And there's like a black guy out with his Norwegian language you made up like kind of a crazy language when you hear it. I get it, but it's it was kind of a trip and it's but it's awesome that you went and you did this huge adventure kind of by yourself. Well, I mean, with your lady at the time, but it's that's incredible.

Unknown: 15:57

So she and I, we traveled the world together. She and I so you know, and we still good friends and stuff. Yeah, I first go out there. January.

Siobhan: 16:06

Nice.

Unknown: 16:07

For today,

Siobhan: 16:08

yeah. And now is your kid over there to

Unknown: 16:10

to I got a 21 year old and I got a 19 year old. Nice. Yes. And then I have a daughter here. She's 31

Siobhan: 16:18

Oh, very nice. That's amazing. I think like the three of them closer know each other? Well.

Unknown: 16:25

They know each other because my my daughter I brought her to know right before. Oh, nice. Yeah. Because I had troubles with her as a kid because I had her when I was 17. So me and a mother. You know, we had issues you don't let me see. Yeah, you know, gang. So then I left because I couldn't even find my daughter. I tried to find her before I left but I just couldn't find her. So I left. She found me though, when I was there. Oh, nice. Yeah. So then we talked on the phone. She was crying to be with you. So I got her ticket. Florida, Norway. She gave me Hale.

Siobhan: 17:00

How old was she when she got

Unknown: 17:01

13? Oh, wow. He was tough though. He was like, I go to work. She's supposed to go to school. But I get phone calls. Hey, man, it's your neighbor. I think I think you have a party downstairs in your house. A lot of kids and now I'm like, Ah, man, tell the boss, I gotta go. And sometimes. And this was happening all the time. And I didn't call it from the school that she had been going. And she just give me straight hair is like, I don't know if I can do this. Because we both in another country, and I'm trying to establish myself. And at the same time, we're getting to know each other and you drive me nuts.

Siobhan: 17:39

That's a lot to deal with. Wow, right. Right. Right. So how did you make it through with her?

Unknown: 17:44

So So you know, it came to a point because one other thing her mother did not tell me that she was having some type of mental issue. So when I'm seeing this behavior going on, what is this? And then she's got to tell you

Siobhan: 18:02

think since she's already there?

Unknown: 18:05

I've got to tell you, but you know, she got a with a call Ella bipolar son? No. I mean, so I started taking her to see the doctor now. Get us medications. But it just it just wouldn't work because I can't progress in this country. You know, I'm trying to get it together in my head. On on being able to adapt, and she got to learn to adapt to but we're gonna be able to adapt if it's constant. Right. You know, I mean, as I said, I got to send you back home. Sorry, you gotta go back to your mother. You know, I don't want to do it. But I don't know what to do. Right? No, I mean, I'm still a youngster myself, try to try to understand my situation. You know, it's not easy. I sent her back home. She was mad about it for a long time. She kind of turns with it and said she was sorry for everything she had done. Yeah, don't worry about it. He was just a kid. So all learning experience. Yeah,

Siobhan: 19:03

it's hard when you're like, I forget, like, as I don't have kids, but like, as a parent, it's hard to like, from what I can see, like balance your life with your kids life. And then, so many parents just give up their lives for their kids. But then they get a little older and they get like this resentment towards their kid, or like, your kid doesn't realize that you're a person. Like, I remember when I first realized my parents were people, you know what I mean? Like, their lives are fucked up to like, they're just doing the best they can for me. And like, sometimes they fuck up and make bad decisions. And it's like, alright, well, that was a shitty decision. You could have done better but but I get why you made it like, and I have no like, hate towards you for making that decision. But like, just say again, I fucked up to like, but as a kid, that's kind of cool that she also was like, you know, I was going through it and I'm sorry for that too. Because I think that can be really healing when you kind of own your side of the street. Right, right. Right. Yeah.

Unknown: 19:58

So you know That That went well she and I have contact to the day since I came back to the States. She already came visit me three times. Nice. So I got two grandkids. You know she, she got two kids. I'm a grandfather.

Siobhan: 20:16

Do you like being a grandfather?

Unknown: 20:18

No, I haven't even met him yet to call him back.

Siobhan: 20:22

We've only been back in the States for like two years. Yeah.

Unknown: 20:25

So I'm like, when are you gonna bring them? Because she Kiki coming by herself? Like you got to bring them to know Bobby's sending them gifts and stuff. You feel

Siobhan: 20:33

me? Yeah. And she Where does she live in the US? Texas? Oh, nice. But in it, you've been back for two years, but it's COVID. So it's like, the time warp is like the COVID. Time Warp is a little different. Right. Right. Right, exactly. So that's amazing that she's gotten to see her three times over this time period. Right, right.

Unknown: 20:51

Right. Right. Right. Definitely. You know, when the COVID Hit him, you know, the big change happening here

Siobhan: 20:57

in California has been shut down longer and harsher than I think anywhere in the country. Like our shit still not really open. I was in Denver a couple weeks ago. And you wouldn't even thought COVID was a thing anymore. Like people aren't wearing masks like there aren't masking mandates places. It was It was wild. It was wild to be walking around. Because I mean, here in California, you still can't go into a bar without showing your max guards and your mask and all that shit. But Denver wide open. Like almost no one I saw was wearing masks. Wow. Like, how come they're like that? And we're like this. It's crazy.

Unknown: 21:36

Yeah, you know, different ideas. I mean, different perspectives.

Siobhan: 21:42

Different in different like amounts of people to like Denver's not as populated as we are here in the Bay. But still, it's like, how come they can have their life back? Right, right, right. You want to stop throwing people out of the bar, because they don't have their fucking back scars, or they don't want to show it to me, you know, like that. It's just sometimes you got to do what you got to do. And you got to play the stupid rules. Right. So now that you're back here in the states in your you got your just recently we were talking about this earlier, Off mic, but you had just recently gotten injured. Yes, yes. So you're dealing with that. And then you're building back up your music career?

Unknown: 22:21

Yeah, yes. I'm trying to get back on the road again. So I'm having fun right now doing it making it again. I just one day, you know, since I've been back to the States, I didn't make no songs until a couple months ago. That's when I started. I just woke up one day and I was like, I got this idea. So I just put it down on paper with the studio coordinate. Yeah. Then I recorded like three more songs.

Siobhan: 22:45

That's amazing. So but like, how do you even go find a studio? Or did you already know one around here like,

Unknown: 22:51

well, a friend of my first a friend of mine sent me to a studio. There's a very famous studio here in Alameda and is over there by high street. So one of my friends sent me over there and then I recorded one tuner and now this guy who I was dealing with, his name is Mike. And Mike he does music for like, too short. He 40 Snoop Dogg. Hey, Bob.

Siobhan: 23:18

Holy shit. That's a

Unknown: 23:21

very famous over there. Yeah, you know, got plaques on the wall. Alright, cat No, very busy. Yeah, busy for me. So I went over there, recorded one song, and then I was supposed to record more songs, but he just was too busy. So then I had to go somewhere else to go find me a new studio. So I went on the internet, found a studio and then I went to go look at it. It was beautiful, nice equipment. And the guy I was working with was a young guy. And he was very nice, too. So me and him. We clicked yummy. Oh, nice. All right, right. Good.

Siobhan: 23:56

Yeah, cuz you were saying you're shooting your first music video for this new songs at the end of the month?

Unknown: 24:00

Yeah, so I'm gonna shoot not box

Siobhan: 24:03

not box can you give me give me like the hook for that.

Unknown: 24:13

The hook is really a hook in a way. The way the way I formatted that song is it's not normally formatted. So you just have to hear for yourself. Maybe Alright. Alright. Well, we'll link

Siobhan: 24:29

that in the show notes. For sure. And then we'll link up the web the video when you put that up, too. Right. So what was your fate when you got to Norway? Norway? What was like the hardest part of that transition? Was it like the learning the language? Was it the culture shock

Unknown: 24:46

learning language was very difficult like when I first started going to there's no reason class right? So I'm gonna sit in class and he's speaking in a region No, no English whatsoever. I'm like, Okay, wow, I do I understand nothing what he was saying. So what I did was, I stopped going, right. So I said to myself, I'm going to blend in with society. And as I go on, I'm gonna pick up from you know, just like, I started picking up when I went back, then I just go in and did it.

Siobhan: 25:17

Oh, so going in like cold was too hard going in, like after you'd been there for a little while, like, kind of mix it in and just listen to it all. That's actually really smart. It's a good way to kind of go at it.

Unknown: 25:30

Right, right. Right. You know, I mean, so because in Norway, if you don't know the language, you're not gonna get a job. That's mandatory. As mandatory. I went there, I got my certificate. So then when I go look for jobs, I gotta show that certificate that I could speak it and understand it, right.

Siobhan: 25:47

Oh, wow. I didn't realize that sometimes. You know, I haven't traveled a ton out of the US, unfortunately, like a couple vacations. But then I think we forget so quickly, like how, one how lucky we have it here in this country, but how other countries have such different laws and rules. And like that, like the fact that you can't get a job in that, like here in America, you can get a job almost anywhere without speaking English. Right. Right. Right. Which is great for people you know, but it's also kind of frustrating for people.

Unknown: 26:18

Yes. Yeah, of course, because they don't understand. Right? Yeah. Can I get a talk or come with a brutal foreign example? Yeah, you know, I mean, but but I'll tell you the best country though best country I visited was Turkey. I love turkey. Turkey Turkey was a real culture shock for me. Yeah, more than Norway. So when I was in Turkey right is like when I started walking down the street guess what they thought I was they thought I was somebody over there they thought it was 50 cents ever I went wow baby screaming running toward me. Hello people running toward me I fed Nicole for pulling me into the stores my man Pullman just Oh come on. 5050 Come on store for Come on man. Buy my clothes he he says something turkeys to a little boy the little boy run up come back with some tea. Daniel run off again coming back with some clothes then they start playing 50 cent it was happening with a man the big bucks want to take a picture what you can go on the back I got back taking

Siobhan: 27:29

is gonna be going to Turkey. Like no

Unknown: 27:36

right right. So so we were staying in a five star hotel right? This hotel was humongous and they had everything there. You don't even have to leave that hotel for nothing. Right? Wow. So we was there for two weeks. So I was laying on the sunbed right. And two Turkish men coming approach me. Excuse me, sir. Would you like to join the contest? I said what is this contest? He said what a contest is we'll give you this basketball and then with the ball it's gonna be a surfboard in the swimming pool. So you got to jump on the surfboard and try to close as you can to the other side and then it's gonna be a person holding a basket and you got to try to shoot the ball making inside the basket. He said would you like to try tries alright man great man great we from from America's oh yeah so because in this hotel is just full of Russians and those Turkish people they complain about Russians all the time they say the air again this net net nets and they always win and all the contest is there so to be like I know you can get them from America no you so win the contest was going on I know as last one to go so I'm watching all these men hop on a surfboard is very difficult. You know I mean, so they hop on a surfboard and go little being total ball is almost impossible to get over there to make it right. So when is my turn to do say ladies and gentlemen. We have an American pro basketball player here and he make the shot. Everybody was clapping I'm like so he's okay go ahead American gave me the ball right I never got on a surfboard before I ran and jumped on surfboard I didn't move nowhere though. I just stood there and I'm you know I'm trying to balance on it is very hard so as I go nowhere so I'll just do a hook shot look hard as I can I fell in the water right? And when I came up the guys down here waiting for me come up here. It's amazing. You Oh my. You hear everybody in the hotel screaming Wow. And then my kids. Oh Daddy you amazing how you doing?

Siobhan: 29:59

Best friends from that competition

Unknown: 30:01

that was so fun. But throughout the whole process when I was there is always competitions. So they always wanted me in the competition ever since I made that shot, right. Yeah. So they got just one just one last competition now whoever won the competition is going to be crowned Mr. Long Beach because the hotel is called Long Beach. Right? So so we was doing his last little things, and then I want everything. And everybody in the hotel screaming Yeah, he's gonna miss the Long Beach. They got my hand up. So everywhere I went from now point, everybody want to talk to me. Hey, Mr. Cooper. That's the way to do a vacation. Right, right.

Siobhan: 30:46

So is that but is that the only reason why Turkey was your favorite spot? Or what else? Was it about Turkey?

Unknown: 30:51

Well, okay. I mean, Turkey was funny. Like, we went a river rafting, right. So as we come into a point, we got to take a break. So we pull it to the side and everybody's standing around, maybe eating some drinking. And there's a little monkey running around, right, the little monkey saying hi to everybody. But the monkey didn't say hi to me. Whoo. Oh, he was terrified. He started screaming when he saw screaming start running hold on people legs, jumping all day. And then my wife and my kids laughing out daddy, the monkey scared of you. I don't know why I tried to go to him. He will not be my friend.

Siobhan: 31:31

Oh, wow.

Unknown: 31:34

That was funny. I mean, it just so many funny episodes there. You know me? Yeah, it's only funny episode. So Turkey was nice in the food. Turkey gasoline. Great food. You know Turkey has one. The best food in the world before you know that right?

Siobhan: 31:53

I didn't.

Unknown: 31:54

My food is great. Yeah.

Siobhan: 31:56

I don't know if I've eaten a lot of Turkish food. Mm hmm. You know, what's a common Turkish Turkish?

Unknown: 32:07

Okay, like, like, in Norway, a communist turkey. This is very famous. Have you ever Okay, Bob? They got K Bob here, but it's not the same. So their cake, Bob's is just awesome. That's a common dish.

Siobhan: 32:21

Okay, what is a K Bob?

Unknown: 32:24

I mean, they got two styles of a cable. They got one that can look like a burrito. And they got one to where? It could be almost like a man. What's that brand called? You know? Some bread. It's like,

Siobhan: 32:38

like a hoagie. Not a hotdog. Oh, a PETA?

Unknown: 32:43

PETA pocket. Yeah. And they make like this all song. Oh, awesome.

Siobhan: 32:49

I do like a stuffed PETA. Right? Yeah. Oh, what was your so how many countries have you been to? You said you've traveled the world. Well,

Unknown: 33:02

I've been around I've been to. I've been all around the Caribbean. I've been some of those islands. I've been to Turkey, Thailand, Germany. Sweden, Poland. Or Ireland.

Siobhan: 33:30

That's amazing. I can't wait to be able to travel like that.

Unknown: 33:34

I love Ireland. Ireland is so nice.

Siobhan: 33:37

Yeah, I've heard it and I of course like I have like ancestors from there but haven't been there yet. Oh, you

Unknown: 33:45

gotta go see is nice. You know, they drink in early in the morning. The party starts when they wake up. Oh, yeah.

Siobhan: 33:51

I observed a lot of Irish men from in Boston. You know, we've got a big Irish community there. So I one of my first jobs I worked the counter at a coffee shop. And in the morning some of the guys would be coming in or like they would stop in on their way home from their nights. Like let me grab some doughnuts for the wife and kids after a night of drinking so they just you know have a coffee with maybe a little Bailey's in it to help them get through the morning

Unknown: 34:19

that's how it is man by law turkeys like the guy took me to his house right and got a big backyard and he'd be shooting discs you know desk so you know he came with a shotgun to me so you're not shooting shotgun? Of course I'm not to shoot. You want to try to shoot the discs? I never did it before but I try when he start popping them on popping mall down

Siobhan: 34:52

how did you learn to shoot?

Unknown: 34:53

Shoot, shoot. Was it The eye. The reason why not to use the eye cuz I'm a pitcher. I'm a pitcher, and I'm gonna hit the balls too. So I'm very looking real king at something. Yeah. So I'm designed to do it. I don't know.

Siobhan: 35:19

I can't see anything unless I'm aiming for something

Unknown: 35:26

right, right, right, right. So in in Norway, I was doing our freestyle battling. So I was traveling the country in Norway. Batterman cats and freestyle. And so one day, I went to a concert right? And it was like, they got freestyle battles going on. And you know, I got many acts one. And I'm just a spectator, right? So I'm standing there, and I'm watching this freestyle battle. He was one of the reason guy and some guy from Africa, right? So like, battling with each other. Now, the reason dude, I'm listening to is there he rapping in English to okay, I'm listening to his lyrics and he's racist. With his lyrics. I'm like, what? Oh, hell, no. I said, who was the person? Give him this concert. I want to speak with him. And then I show you then somebody showed me. I told him who I was. He said, he know who I am. He said, Yeah, I saw your magazines and stuff. I said, Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you can come back here. So right on. So I go back there. And I say, I want to bounce that case and go to the site and ask him, so I went to the other side. Ross, I won't bother you do? He's like, no. So I was back to another side. What other guys is asked, Hey, y'all, he said, No. So we started talking, and then out of nowhere, he comes. And he got his finger in my face. How about you? I'm like, Whoa, you want it? Here warning. I said, Oh, you can't get it. So then I told the boss man that he won't it now Right? Yeah. Okay, you guys go man. So I can't wait to see this. So he called me and him out. He went first. You know my face rabid racist. Buddha, water, water, water. Oh, call me all kinds of names. I'm like, okay, okay. And then it was my time, right? That's right, man. Do you got this biggest most instrumental? I forget what it was. I said, but you got that. He's got a spin that man he spent that beat I started dropping my loves on that boy. Know what he did? He got on his knee starter bow when you're not Muslim. That's what he was doing. The whole crowd was screaming like they see Michael Jackson right and I'm just spitting all over do he gets up and walk off the stage I took over the whole show

Siobhan: 37:42

can get into one min. Rock just to watch. Like to fly for this? I gotta shut that motherfucker down and take over. Yeah. So how did that guy not get his ass kicked?

Unknown: 38:01

No. in you know, in Norway, they don't fight so much.

Siobhan: 38:06

Right? But if he's up there, like being real racist, like, I see, because if that happened here, he probably wouldn't have walked off the stage.

Unknown: 38:15

Of course, of course, of course. He would have been in big trouble. But you know, out there they got a different school of thought. You know, I mean, like, somebody come up to me and call me nigger. It is a big deal. But people really don't get like you know, it's not like that. Because I have many episodes like I'm sitting at a bar and I got like 3030 Guys right we sitting there having a good time. Some white guy come over here. Bang bang on the table because I'm because I'm on the black one here, right bang on the table. What are you doing here? So I'm sitting here I'm drinking my drink. And I say Hey, sir, please go sit down. I would advise you and he just going off and going off he's still going off and then all my friends do Oh, you see about 30 Cats yelling in the region cussing him out. Man I'm telling you go sit down you don't get hurt out here messing with me man. You don't know you message me because I didn't catch it love me out there. They love me down real guy man man we'd like you Thanks man. We're gonna crown you the first black Viking

Siobhan: 39:32

Wow How did it happen a lot like I mean I just

Unknown: 39:38

Well, it can happen a lot sometimes I got I got like, let's say I went out on three three weekends in a row for example it can happen like that right? So I come home talk and I talked to my wife about it and that shit man you know I want to do nothing nobody was just ignore I'm just keep ignoring or as I am no, no, but they keep it but if they follow me right You know, oh man, I don't know if I'm gonna flash mine you know enough is enough.

Siobhan: 40:06

It breaks my heart that that shit still happens like I don't understand it i i know that that's just there many words but like, I don't understand anyone hating someone for if you don't know them right, right like you hate someone because of the way they look like what? Why Right, right? It's crazy. Yeah, like it's like, Wait, do you just hate redheads? Like, because they read here like, No. So why do you hate someone because of their skin color? Or because of like their sexuality or like, I never will understand that. And I always ask people like, especially when they're racist. I'm like, so but what about it? Like, do you know someone? Like we were saying, when you first moved there in the early 2000s, most people may not have even seen a black person like that. All right, I can get that curiosity of looking. Or like, hey, I want to meet that person, because it's something kind of novel, but not like, Oh, I hate that person. Because I've never spoken to or seen someone that looks like them. Like, I don't even understand where that comes from. And I know I'm not like I just then to hear and see people that have to deal with that, like and coming at you. The grace that you have to just let it roll off your back is amazing. And I never I think people need to like take that into account more often.

Unknown: 41:23

Definitely. Definitely. You know what it really helps, like, when many times when I come back for a visit here, and people asking me questions, and maybe that come up and a man will be calling you the N word. Man, do you give me one of these? I'm glad. He's why not? Man, let somebody do me. Like I said, Listen, it might be 1 million people calling you that you ain't gonna find a body. It's gonna be said to you many times. You know, I even met a guy at that same show I told you about right. So after I got done when I was in the back room, a black man walked up to me right? Excuse me? Are you from Oakland? I said yeah. He said, Man, I know your cousin. You start dating my 10 year old mom. I don't even know who you like man. He told me who his cousin was right. I know him. He said Yeah, I heard you was here. He said man, but I didn't think I was gonna run into you see, it's crazy. I found you

Siobhan: 42:33

although it's probably easy to pick you out in a crowd out there.

Unknown: 42:38

Right right. Right is not so many Americans do not know why but I ran into a few like, ask some buddies who was a Jehovah Witnesses right? They can knock on my door one day and say hey, we went to Jehovah Witness I saw y'all Americans may come on in. So they came in I was like, I want some cookies and coffee. So we've seen that target can come visit me any doubt like y'all man, you know, so they kept coming in one one day at a party going on? And and he came by and it's Amina reporting. Me. Can we join? I said sure, man, they came in here they got drunk

Siobhan: 43:26

when people pass the booze

Unknown: 43:31

right. I never seen them again after that.

Siobhan: 43:35

They were probably grounded.

Unknown: 43:38

By God since right back home.

Siobhan: 43:40

Yeah, your mission is over. It was cool. Oh, wow. But do you think it was worse there than it is here with the racism? Or is it just

Unknown: 43:56

not even Norway's very peaceful? So it's worse here is way worse here. You know, like, over there, as we look in in the MENA region, people are fed up what they see over here?

Siobhan: 44:12

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, what people think outside of America about America, especially in the last few years is like, depressing. And how, like, kind of low that we become in like, kind of trash, right? Yeah, definitely. And people don't want I think most Americans don't realize it because so many Americans don't talk to people that have lived outside this country, which is also kind of a mindfuck. When you meet people from Europe and that have traveled so extensively, are the people here that I've met that have traveled extensively, they just have such a bigger worldview. But most people that I speak to are like, well, we're the best country in the world like a long time ago, unfortunately.

Unknown: 44:56

So is like speaking on that like when I when I first went there in 2000 isn't everybody loved America? America? Yeah, yeah. So damn, when the war happened, you know, when the Twin Towers went down and war went down, America started going down, down, down. Everybody was mad man, I was catching hell over there because of that, you know, so I was like some sometimes I'd be walking down the street but American right here like, just one guy. He tried to gather up a lot of boys to come jump on me in front of a nightclub because I came from United States, right? He's like, that guy. I think he called me from United States, everybody, let's kick his ass. And then everybody was like, no, no, we know him. He Cool, man, dude, like, I'm gonna go kick his ass myself. So I was like, Okay, if he come up to me, I just got to do what I have to do. So, I'm a fighter. Yes, I do fight. I used to back in the day. So I do boxing. So when he come in, I'm doing mathematical movements in my mind on what he's going to do. So I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna do this. And he did exactly what I thought it was over.

Siobhan: 46:09

Well, it's more like self defense.

Unknown: 46:12

You know, I had to put up with the right grace and it was over. I didn't want to try to beat them down. And then everybody listen, because in Norway, if you fight and people aren't gonna like you. So when you lay on the ground, I was yelling in their language that I don't know who this man is. So when this man finally woke up, he still wants to come to me. And I and then I'm telling him, Please get him. Right. Because if he take one more these, I don't know if he don't make it. Get that man. So they got him away. And then I didn't seem like much and then one then walking down the street. And we bought the cross paths. Now the honest I do right here. So as we cross paths, he goes on bumped me like this bomb. I turn around, look, he but he just kept walking straight. And I was like, Man, he's gonna try and mess with me. So later on that night, we crossed paths again. So I spoke with him. I said, Man, I gotta ask you. Why are you messing with me, man? I said, Oh, that right? Yeah, man. I smell a cigarette. He's like, Okay Right, right, right. I put the test down right there. He's smoking, man. Just leave me alone. No prize what you do? Yeah.

Siobhan: 47:29

And we already laid him out.

Unknown: 47:37

Right, right, right. Right. You're gonna go through that trouble. And I don't want to give him no troll. I'm just trying to be cool, man. But that is out there testing though.

Siobhan: 47:48

But I mean, yeah, dude. Just to hear it's worse here. Like, if I don't know,

Unknown: 47:55

is different is like, the difference is this. America is brutal. And violent. Yeah. Versus Norwegian racism. They're going to use economics on you, meaning they're gonna make it almost impossible for you to get a job. This is how they use their racism they dangle shoot to darlin nothing, but they're gonna try to stop you from having money.

Siobhan: 48:20

Yeah. Fuck.

Unknown: 48:23

So you got to have connections. And you know, when I told you I was doing a solar cell. Yeah, the reason why I got hooked up with decks I knew somebody.

Siobhan: 48:30

So yeah, you needed to have that personal connection in order to get in. That's mostly

Unknown: 48:34

how it was happening for me because I always knew somebody was getting me in. Yeah.

Siobhan: 48:40

Yeah, and then it's like, well, is the overt racism worse than like the systemic right racism. But then here in the US, we have both because, you know, like, people keep you from getting a job because it color your skin or your name or whatever. And then, like, you know, there was a meme the other day of this white woman Her name was I forget what it was, but it didn't sound white. It sounded ethnic. I'll say like, that's a shitty thing to say to you. But it was, you know, it probably sounded like a black name. And some girl was like, how many resumes this bitch doesn't even know how many times her resumes been thrown in the trash. And I was like, that's funny, but it's also like, fucking sad and true. Right? And it's like, how do we fix that? Like, memes don't fix it. Like, how do we fix it? Like why does that happen? Yeah, it just I always go back to like, I don't understand like, how you train someone to hate someone that they don't know. Like, little kids don't hate each other.

Unknown: 49:32

Right? Right. Right. You got to you got to teach them you got to teach them teach them

Siobhan: 49:37

the difference you know, and like, why do we teach difference? Shouldn't or like why is different bad? Why isn't different just different? Why can't we just accept it?

Unknown: 49:48

Right like like, like when you spoke about applications get thrown in the trash. Sometimes I saw they they throw my application in the trash in front of my Face balled up. Well, no, I Okay. Obama is next. And it was happening many times.

Siobhan: 50:09

Yeah. The fact that you can talk about it and you seem so just matter of fact, is disheartening. And like, your strength for that is really incredible. And I know it's, it's just something that you and a lot of other people kind of have to resign to live with. And I just sometimes think like, we don't, nobody takes a moment enough to recognize that. It's like that, that thing of like, you know, thank God, black people just want reparations, because if they ever like decided to actually take back when they were own, like, we'd all be fucked, you know what I mean? Like? And it's like, we recognize that and like, I don't know, do something do a part of I, I wish I could, like, fix it all. You know, like, you know, or just heal a little part of it, or just, I don't know, it's just a part of the world that I just like, everyone wants to be better.

Unknown: 51:14

No, everybody should want to be better, but not not. Not everybody. Yeah, unfortunately. So, but you know, I've been going through this forever. So it just, it just became normal.

Siobhan: 51:25

Yeah, that's it, maybe that's why it feels so like, gross to me that you do talk about it. Like, it's so normal. And I had this conversation with, you know, I've worked out the last year that I worked in Oakland, I work for mostly, like a black run company. And most of the time, I'd be the only woman or white person in that room. So I've gotten to learn a lot more and see it and like I've seen, like, I've had someone telling me like, oh, racism is not that bad anymore. And like, Have you been out with, like, all black people, because the way people get treated is different. Like, and I sometimes think that. I mean, you can't know how someone else's journey is. But like, when you can take a moment and you watch and you see things and you're just like, wait a second like that. What the fuck is that? And it's just like, sometimes even the energy that comes towards some like that, that group of us that would be Oh, it was different. And I'd be like, this is I, I don't understand it. And it's just people suck. I don't even know how to.

Unknown: 52:29

Well, people do so. Yeah. When do I know you like like, when my ex wife when I tried to tell them about my experience? She wasn't understanding. I was like, you just don't get the black experience. Because you got your own experience. You're not with me all the time. So you don't know what's going on. Right? Yeah,

Siobhan: 52:49

yeah. And I can I understand, like, I don't, I can't, I don't understand your experience, but I can kind of empathize with it. And I can say like, well, I have seen like this, this and this like, so when, you know, one of my friends are saying like, Oh, yeah, no racism happens. And another one's like, well, it's not that bad. I'm like, well, one, how are you telling someone who's ever different? Like, color or whatever? Like, how are you telling them what their experience is? Like? They're, you're like, No, you know, it's not that but no, they just told you it was. So fucking listen, first of all, right? Second, like don't just count someone else's experience, because you don't know it. Right? And like, if someone's telling you like, hey, racism is real bad. Like, well, guess what? They have that experience. So it's true. Like I one of my girls, she is an Asian chick. And she said, like, in the last year, when all the attacks started to happen after COVID was the first time she was afraid to walk down the street by herself. And she was like, 35, and she's like, at least I made it to this age. And I thought, like, that's too like, one she's now like, afraid to walk down the street by yourself just because of the color of her skin. And too, she's like, grateful that she got to be so old before she had that feeling. Like that's a shitty kind of like, wait, you went you went you like, it's almost like, she's like, I knew how lucky I was to have not had that. Because so many of her friends and our friends do have that fear. And it's like, something that I don't even have something to compare that to other than, like, I'm a woman. And if I walk down the street late at night, it's scary. And like, you know, women we always had like this thought in our brain, like someone's trying to kill us. You know, like, I can look at it that way. But like, it's still not something that like is at the forefront of my brain kind of in the same way that you have to have that guard up.

Unknown: 54:46

Well, I experienced one day in Oslo, Oslo, the capital of Norway. So Mina, Filipino friend of mines, we walking down this main street call caller Han and calahonda the Main Street where you can walk to the castle also they got nightclubs all on that street right? So we walking down the street MEMA Filipino home and we hear screams we hearing glass breaking what's going on up here? So as we get closer we see people fighting and it looked like it was like maybe about 20 skinheads and it was powering all these foreigners and they just fighting it Me and Me and My homie we just walking like that happened right through a storm right? So memahami we stood in the middle of the storm and we're just looking like this this crazy stuff though is it was in the region women right here and like about five Nazis man her and beat her up right there and he ran off start throwing glasses and beating up people over there beating up people over there they run and pass me my Filipino friend he's running past meanwhile, friends don't laugh when I was I guess not just running fast as my weird, but it was funny. It was funny. It wasn't funny that the violence that happened but it's funny that Jesus ran past us. Yeah, it was see as the same. Like I was like, Okay, that's cool, too. Yeah, you know me. And then like another time I'll be walking down the street and Nazi woke up and thought, you know, Hitler signs shit, right. So I'm standing there talking to my friends. I see a Nazi going like this. Oh wait, he's walked off those are the best reactions. Right? Right. Right. Right. Exactly.

Siobhan: 56:53

Like, yeah, they're trying to get you and you're just like, oh, yeah, that's Oh, yeah, that's a good point. That's a good one. Yeah, it was great guy, great guy. You should follow in his footsteps and go die. And I think well, humor, I think is like, I will, in the darkest moments, I will crack the most inappropriate joke that I can. Because I just think it you got to cut that tension. And like, or you get gets, you'll get so angry that you fuck up? In what end up in jail? Like, yeah, like, you got to kind of cut that tension somehow.

Unknown: 57:32

So I used to have a bad temper when I was younger. But as I grew, and as I have put the right information in my mind, I don't have anger issues. Zero. You really, really, really, really, really have to do something to get me angry. You do I just can't get angry. That's amazing.

Siobhan: 57:58

What kind of work did you do to get you to that point where you're not in like, or where you release that anger that you are holding on to?

Unknown: 58:05

Well, you know, what, as time went, you know, I started gaining more knowledge. No, you know, in 2013 is when I really was digging in information. Daily, not feed myself feed myself and I'm going out traveling, doing this doing this learning things. And I it just, it just left me

Siobhan: 58:32

nice. Like, what kinds of things were you learning there? Like everyday things? Were you getting into, like, self help stuff? Or like, you know, like writing or like,

Unknown: 58:40

like, like, I might learn about some history? And I'm a history guy. I love history. So mainly mainly to history stuff and stuff like that. Yeah, I mean, you know, and then learning about knowledge itself. That's the that's the key is the knowledge itself, because if you don't have not to sell, you're gonna be having some issues maybe.

Siobhan: 59:01

Yeah. Yeah, I think knowledge itself is kind of like the whole goal in life. Right, right now, like, if you know yourself, and you can control your own shit, then you can control the world.

Unknown: 59:11

Right, right. Right, right now, as I said, That's power right there. And that's how I that's how I trained myself. That knowledge itself, so it all works out.

Siobhan: 59:20

Yeah. And then a lot of that passion, you get to kind of put into your music to which must help, like, where you get to put all that kind of anything that does come up, I imagine is where that's where you kind of put

Unknown: 59:34

our channel like, like, like, if some bothered me on my channel into exercising on my channel into the music. You know, I mean, like, like, I got my phone and I'm on this app. The app is called rap thing. So when you sign up with this app, also, they got like many beats, right? So you choose a beat, and then it's gonna bring you over to like a studio that they got on the phone. And then you know, you play the guy. You gotta have headphones. All so then you hit a big rap on it and then you mix it down with the look thing and then you know, I make like 5678 songs in one day.

Siobhan: 1:00:09

Wow.

Unknown: 1:00:12

So then I go lay down play dominoes

Siobhan: 1:00:21

Domino's on the phone is fun, cuz you can't hit the Boneyard. Like how do you get the real fun on the phone? Yeah, I even played Domino's and yours.

Unknown: 1:00:32

I'm addicted to it. I can play it after 24 hours.

Siobhan: 1:00:35

Oh shit don't even know if I remember how to play dominoes anymore. No, I haven't. Yeah, I haven't played

Unknown: 1:00:44

fives though, but yeah, that's how I channel my stop filming or or, or go for a walk. I'm always walking on the beach all the time. You know, I got wet my ankle weights. And when my headphones on I did go do me. Yeah,

Siobhan: 1:01:03

I do the same thing. I'm surprised we haven't seen each other because I spend as much time as I can on that beach. Oh, I am I there was a guy the other day that I saw and he's like, every time I'm here, I see you. Like, hey, I'm here. Because it is yeah, I am similar I channel I've learned to channel some of my shit. And I'm still a little angry about stuff that I have to let go of. But most of the time I'm good about like channeling it in or keeping it kind of internalizing it, and not letting people see it. Which is sometimes hard. But the and I'm still working on kind of my passions to channel some of that stuff into. But that's incredible that you've learned to kind of do that. And, like did you have an example of how to do that? Or did you just figure out like, I need to know myself in order to control my world

Unknown: 1:01:56

well, of course that, you know, I mean, like, when I was younger, I always was a seeker. Mm hmm. For knowledge for information, but I was still being a bad kid. But I still was doing more to my life than what I was doing. You know, because environment I was in you know, kids out there doing it doing it. But I know something else I needed to do. So I kept on looking for it kept on looking for it. The journey was on right and then I got on an airplane. Learning the journey feel going well, me. Yeah.

Siobhan: 1:02:29

Yeah, but that's amazing that you you always have just had that drive and knew that about yourself. Yeah, that's important thing to have.

Unknown: 1:02:38

That's my shrink. Wrap. Man, you gotta be strong like people be like, even with since I've been back people been trying to test me man. I just, I just don't deal with it.

Siobhan: 1:02:53

Yeah, yeah, well, it's like that when someone's rude to you, you have the option of like, you can fight or you can walk away like, and you always have options and like, sometimes that neither option is a good one. Sometimes. Like it's like, as long as you're choosing it, even if you choose the one that's like might not look the best like at least you chose it instead of like just standing there and waiting for shit to happen.

Unknown: 1:03:19

Like like at least one day some some some may want to fight me because I told him don't comment in where so he got all mad at me and I want to know to just you know, just talk to me normal man to talk to you know, my I stopped talking to him. He's still trying to get my attention but I'm talking this way so other than that, if you come into space now you say I talk to you no more. You're gonna be violating right now. I'm excited dealing with you now you know, man, and if you try some because I am a security guard. I will rescue you. And I'm gonna make that clear when I come to get you. I'll make it clear everybody know I'm arresting him.

Siobhan: 1:04:01

Citizens

Unknown: 1:04:08

please guide me sir. He's arrested. right to arrest him. I'm a I'm a security guard. I can show you that I have his right to arrest his man for breaking the law.

Siobhan: 1:04:23

And sometimes I think people need to be slapped like hate crime tickets like you call someone that word like there should be like maybe there should be a ticket for that shit like or something or

Unknown: 1:04:33

is it Norway?

Siobhan: 1:04:34

Really? That's amazing.

Unknown: 1:04:36

Oh yeah, you pay a lot of money if somebody's coming in where and I call the police and say did the oh we pay a lot of money.

Siobhan: 1:04:42

Wow, really? Oh, wow. I kind of love it. I mean, not for any other words, but that one, you know, like, call me a bitch call me and like just Don't call anyone that word. You know like it Right, there's just an I had, you know, growing up, I've mixed, I have some mixed cousins and I have cousins that you know, have friends. And we were I had like a party and two of them. Two guys were in like my kitchen. And one of them was like, oh, you know, he said it to someone else. And he said it in like a caring, like, you know, like, Hey, get me a beer, my brother, the N word. And I was like, oh, not my house. And he was like, what? And I'm like, not at my house. And he was like, oh, it's all good. It's all love. And I'm like, No, I don't give a shit. That was not my house. And he's like, You can't tell me I'm like, No, I can't because my house that was allowed, like, I don't care if you do it in love. I don't care. Like, I just don't want it to energy like me. Maybe you don't mind it, but maybe some of my other friends. I do know they mind it. So just don't use it. Right? Like, I'm not telling you can't use it outside, just not in my house. And it was like a thing. And then it was like, oh, yeah, that's the crazy white girl that yells at you for using words. And I'm like, Yeah, I am. i Right. What do you want, but you want to fight me? Like, I'm gonna fight me because I care about my other friends. That's on you. Like, let them fight you.

Unknown: 1:06:08

Like, we was at a party in a cabin, and this is in Norway, right? My ex wife mother was having a party. So this cabin was huge. So we're in a swimming pool area. And I'm sitting in a hot tub. I'm fully clothed, sitting in the hot tub. I'm drunk. And then and there's another guy. He was the son to my wife, my ex wife's husband. Okay. And my first time meeting this guy, too, right? So we sitting in a hot room over here. And he said, Amy, he will call another man. She Excuse me? That's it. Man did not tell you my name. What's my name? No. No, oh, no, I don't know. I mean, not by man. He said My best friend is black man. I call him that all the time. You don't care? I said, Do I know you? What made you think you could say to me because you got a black friend? I don't know. You may and then stuff started getting nasty. Man. He got all bad. Not all bad. I'm like, why they can't just call me by my name. Right? I told you my lane when I met you. There you call me anything else. But when I told you while we're being disrespectful.

Siobhan: 1:07:27

Amen to that. Right. You know, and I hate that I have a well, I have a black friend. So. So what? You have one black friend, a girl that sleeps with a black guy. And she's like, I'm not racist. I slept with a black guy. Oh, so you let one black dick inside you. So now, you're okay with everything else that you just said was real ignorant. But you want Nick? No, no, that's not how it works.

Unknown: 1:07:53

Right. Right. Right. Right. I think that a lot of that going on? I unfortunately.

Siobhan: 1:08:00

Yeah. Well, hopefully, things are starting to move forward, at least in a better direction. Like, slightly more people are aware of it. Because it's so in our faces now with all the shit with the cops. And you know, we've seen it, there's no denying it. You know, like, I think some people used to really try to deny it, or if they don't, you know, if they're in areas of the country that aren't that diverse. They're like, well, it's not that bad here like, well, one. If you don't have that many black people in your neighborhood, or Spanish people or Asian people like then you can't speak on it. You know, like, I lived in a town in upstate New York where there was like two black families in that whole town. And people would say shit, and I'm like, well not you know, not Harold, he's different. I'm like, so you like Harold but you don't like other people that look like him that you don't know for no reason? Or like you're talking about shit that you have no like they have these deep opinions on something that they've never experienced or seen. Like you've never been to like you've never had actual soulful you can't say like so soul food. No good. You know, it's that kind of shit. Like, you know, ignorant. Yeah, it's just the ignorance is overwhelming in some point. Oh. How at this point in the world, are you so ignorant? Like there's the internet, there's TV like it's everywhere. Like there's no reason you can't learn. There's no reason you can't like. It's like you said you found your knowledge and you've seek more knowledge and like history is a great place to go. Or like I love autobiographies because I love seeing other people and how they've gotten through their shit. But like, you know, if you know your history, you won't repeat it or just, I don't know, take a breath and think outside your box once in a while. I just I don't know this was not a topic I thought we'd get into I thought we were gonna be heavy on the music and not on the race but it just is such a because you've had such a to a juxtaposition of living somewhere that so different

Unknown: 1:10:00

is relevant to talk about Yeah, early definitely is relevant. Yeah, because it's happening. It's real. Yeah, it's real. But I me personally, I don't pay attention to that racism shit. All my friends I've grew up where I grew up in a diverse place Alameda, right? That's my junior high school. I was the king of the king in my junior high days since I was the bigger guy picking all the kids like I told you, right? So like I was an advocate for the week. So so so all low, who was weaker than me knew I was on a team. So this one white guy, he nerd in I can sit him like a family member, right? So he came up to me one day, amen. fraidy keep messing with me, man. He keeps saying I'll kick my hand. And I told Freddie that you was my cousin. And he said now Raymond Angel God he black. He worked in Maya so he gave me tell him he's a man keep talking Friday for me. He said we ain't cousin because you black. That's it. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna talk to Fred. How you doing? He's Hey, man. What's up? I said me, you know, Josh, is again. I know gentleman Kiki's last. I said no, you weren't. That's my cousin. Danger cousin. He why? I said look, Freddie. If you mess with Josh, buddy, I'm going to have you for dinner. Okay. So So Josh, Josh, Josh told his mama what I did. So I was mama come and give me gifts and see if we're protecting us. And I was doing it for all the kids because even to this day, one day when I was in Norway, right? It's a guy I'm seeing for like, 2530 years and he lives Australia. But we grew up here. You know, man, he was like my best friend too. Right? Like deal. So he's like, Damn, man, I miss you, man. That I can't believe I found you. He said you know what? How much money do you need? To turn how much money do you need? That's the $2 is no I'm serious. Man. Tell me something was a man. I can't tell you that. I said if you want to give me something to and I just take him right. He's me. I'm gonna tell you why I'm gonna do this. I remember when people used to mess with me. You always used to let them know man. Nobody used to mess with me man. That's why I'm doing this man. I'm paying it back man. Like 3000 bucks

Siobhan: 1:12:37

Nice. Wow, I wish my childhood people would give me some money for shit I didn't protect anyone.

Unknown: 1:12:48

Yeah, I was that guy. No, but you know what here now mete out a stigma on my name because I was fighting a lot but I was fighting them like it wasn't me. Because that's cooler idea. They used to come to that school people don't even know just to find me so cuz I had named Oh he big and stuff. So one day I'm walking out of class right and it's a rainy day and I got my books in my coat and I'm walking to the bus stop. Why is like three cars full of Asians sitting? Waiting? I don't know who was waiting for right and the next day? No, I just see a lot of Asians get out of a car right? And they run in me towards me Ryan I'm like, Are they coming at me? Coming full speed to man. I have to drop my bus as they got closer. I saw I saw nflt drop my books. The first one I came in my radius. I had to rock this knock box. You know me and it was like 10 knots right like 10 By myself. Right? Right. I was knocking next not boxes though. So so so so they all ran. I made them run back to the car. So they ran back into car today. And then they drove off and shit right? So a couple years ago when I was in Norway, one of my friends brought that up to me. Man I remember you fought like 10 cats and you will love that she was amazing

Siobhan: 1:14:14

you had a front row seat.

Unknown: 1:14:17

He said man he's never seen no shit like that dude, man Yeah, I don't know like when I when I walk around Alameda people who no doubt come up to him but that's a legend right here known as a legend nice one. Yes. Yes. I don't play no games.

Siobhan: 1:14:41

I'm nice until I have to kind of

Unknown: 1:14:47

know but a lot of that was going on, man. I mean, that was common for me all the time. Even I don't even know these people. My principal like Raymond YZ people come before Yes, man. I don't know. I never seen them before. Hey, just hearing about my name, you know me and they come and follow me trying to get some street cred, right Ryan? I'm like, Man, I can let them beat me up. That's what I ain't gonna do. Yeah. I gotta fight back here, but you better be careful cuz they, you know, they might be able to weapons too. So yeah, yes, they might well, what I'm gonna do right but coming to me that's all I've been trying to do my my business, they all kept coming and getting beat up

Siobhan: 1:15:31

so maybe it's a good thing that you'd have done that playing to Norway.

Unknown: 1:15:34

You know what? That actually saved my life when I did that because of like, like I'm saying to you, people, I don't know. It's coming for me. So around that time. It was a man from San Francisco. He came around here. I guess he heard about my name and stuff, too. Right. So there's like, yeah, man, what's the name said when he see you may. Like someone saw him. I don't know him, man, but he talking bad about you? And like, whatever. So one day I seen him like, Yo, Mama kick you away. I don't even know you ain't messing with me. Do you? Look you like whatever does so. You know, he started talking about guns and doing all this man info what? I don't know. And I. So as it got closer, full of time for me to go to Norway. I said to myself, Man, I want to see this guy, have a chat with them. And now it's kind of dropped in rice. I walk into walking in the neighborhood in this neighborhood is to just be infested with crime and criminals and drugs and stuff like that. Right? So I'm walking through this neighborhood late at night. And I seen him and he's with another guy I knew we got. So the guy that I knew. I put him in a headlock first, right? Boom. Yeah, Randy, come on rainy, man. Come on. Stop, man. I said, Man, why I keep messing with me, man. He's okay. Ramming. So I let him go. Now the real guy who I got issue, he was standing right there, too. I said, was so chill. You want it? Cuz I'm ready for you tonight. All right, man. I want no problems with you. Oh, no problem. Simple as that.

Siobhan: 1:17:14

And but that takes a huge amount of discipline to for you to just walk away. Like, because I know, I know. If that guy had been talking shit about me to everybody else, like I probably would have thrown some more words its way. You know, like, I would have been like, Oh, you don't want it then? What the fuck? You're talking shit about like, yeah, being a little drunk. And

Unknown: 1:17:36

you know what, I always give people the chance. Always do manage many times. I have problems with cats. I might call him up and say you want to do this with me. Come outside. No, we want peace. Okay, you got it. I'll leave it alone. We will always give you a chance. If you want peace, you got it? Because it's not me.

Siobhan: 1:17:59

And still, that's a discipline way to go through the world. Like because, again, it's your knowledge itself that like, yeah. Because you know yourself and you know, what to give your energy and whatnot to? Exactly, but that's a talent. And the fact that you've trained yourself to do that are like inherently have done that. Yeah. Is a gift.

Unknown: 1:18:23

Yes. Yes, it is. It is blessed to be that way. Because a lot of people used to think otherwise by me, like I was saying, when they always had this the wrong idea. Because they never truly got to know me. Now those who I grew up with, they know me, right? But somebody who don't know me, so where are you gonna judge me? And you're just gonna, you're not gonna do right because you don't know me. Right? You'll know what I think you don't know what I know. You don't know nothing. Right? Well, it goes

Siobhan: 1:18:51

back to like that. Why someone would be judging you like, if you don't know you don't be judging you. Like, you know, I mean, I met you in a bar like, two weeks later here you are in my apartment. We're hanging out chat and we've been having great conversations like because I could tell who you were after I talked to you. You know, like we a 10 minute conversation like Oh, this guy is like a fucking real interesting nice respectful guy. Like not a carer where in the world like, you know what I mean? Like? Yeah, like because but if I just seen you, like, could judge you I guess it's not my nature but I guess you know what I mean? Like we're hanging out on the street corner you roll smoking. You know, like, I just it is that thing of the judgment I don't like I keep saying I don't understand it. And it's I keep trying to understand people for that like so I can because I get angry when someone judges and then I judge them

Unknown: 1:19:50

well, if you're gonna judge somebody, make sure it's a righteous judgment. If you're going to do so, I mean, me. I'm not judgmental at all. You know me I give the person the first time you're gonna talk with me and then I'm understand you and then then I'm gonna judge you from that point.

Siobhan: 1:20:09

Right? Exactly. Yeah. Like, get to know someone a little bit before you make your judgement. Because how many people could you How many amazing people have you missed it already in the world just by judging a book by its cover? Like, think about it in that respect, like, what you could be losing by judging? Versus like, Oh, I'm, you know, guarding myself or, you know, no, no, think about the opposite. Like, take a moment and think like, how many people have I judged harshly when then, like, have heard something after the fact about how either nice they are? Or like, they did something incredible, or like, they survive something like, and then you're like, oh, that's probably why they're a little you know, they're a little cage or something like, Oh, that explains it. Now. They're okay. Like, how about you just give them the benefit of the doubt of knowing their experience before you judge them?

Unknown: 1:20:54

Exactly. Exactly. A lot of Judge judgmental people out here.

Siobhan: 1:21:01

Yeah, and it's almost like where did where does that entitlement to judge come from? Like, is that just inherent in some people or is that also taught?

Unknown: 1:21:13

Probably, probably. Not enough never know. It could be taught it can be learned from TV. Tea, you know, people watching bad TV and screw your hair up, man. I don't watch TV me. Never in my house, I don't want you to buy my mom my brother. I'm always into the phone. You know, getting some typing information stuff and playing dominoes or rapping.

Siobhan: 1:21:43

You're always creating

Unknown: 1:21:44

Yeah, I'm always creating was creating I've been you know, I've been I've been trying to get a voiceover job. Oh, yeah. Cuz I have I have this kid voice and said that that do very well. Yeah, you know you are a booty box. You know? Yeah, you know me doing voices.

Siobhan: 1:21:58

Oh, and I didn't realize they were all you that's all me. That's awesome. Oh, I could hear you doing a voiceover job. That would be a good gig for you. I think

Unknown: 1:22:10

I can do very well. Got to go high pitch voice so I made I made I made a song the other day where I'm using my deep voice in the high pitched voice and we're having a conversation with each other. Oh, nice.

Siobhan: 1:22:28

Yeah, it's funny. Oh, I want to hear I do like blue box that it's got me shaking my hips real fast. Oh, that's a good one. I can hear that in the club.

Unknown: 1:22:37

As a club banger? Oh yeah. I'm not totally done with that tone yet. Because when I listen to it, I hear something still I need to do some more vocals on certain areas to fatten it up a little bit. Then I'm gonna be done. So I'm hoping they turn my money back on soon. So I can go back in here and put in two more hours so I can be totally done with it and put it out

Siobhan: 1:23:01

nice. That'll be exciting.

Unknown: 1:23:04

So but they already start playing it. A friend of mine gave it to in Florida and he'd been passing around to some nightclubs out there. And he's like man, they put on a boombox man club Florida man she's not a woman reacted man he's going nuts. I said that right he said man I tried to call use him and I was gonna FaceTime you so you can see he's Amanda was bumping booties

Siobhan: 1:23:35

somewhere

Unknown: 1:23:38

All right, right. We're trying to get that rolling. So yeah,

Siobhan: 1:23:43

that'll be a fun music video to shoot.

Unknown: 1:23:47

Right right. I want that video to be very unique though. Okay, different. I don't want to be just the normal type of video I wanted to be different. I wanted to be a straight creator maybe you know like Well Matt more like I might want to have special lights going. You know me something different.

Siobhan: 1:24:08

Yeah, you don't want just some like big ass bitches dropping.

Unknown: 1:24:14

Right right. I want I want it to be a special look. Yeah, it is a special little tune.

Siobhan: 1:24:19

Yeah yeah, that'd be fun right right now I'm interested to see which direction you'll take it in.

Unknown: 1:24:30

You know, keeping the positive keeping the role in essay you know, man as I can do man happy to you know see another day every day. And never know where we're gonna go. I think a friend of mine I don't know she died yet but I got one week left.

Siobhan: 1:24:48

That's terrible. Yeah, that's, I just heard about someone that lost like three different people to fentanyl. And I was like, is that like is are we going through it? I'm about to go through like another round of that fentanyl stuff. I thought it was kind of off the streets. But it sounds like it might be back. Just so disappointing. Like scary

Unknown: 1:25:15

serious business out here. Serious business.

Siobhan: 1:25:19

Yeah. All right. Well, I think I don't really want to get ended on that depressing note. But yeah, life is short and it can suck some days. But it's all about getting back up again. Back up, right. What's How do you get back up when you're having a bad day? What's like your Do you have like a go to

Unknown: 1:25:48

start rapping

Siobhan: 1:25:50

music, or exercise? Yeah. Same music, I feel like because it's like the energy exchange. It's how I kind of helped my whole day or like, if I have to be somewhere and they don't have any music playing after like, 20 minutes. I'm like, Alright, I need to put my own headphone in. Like I need something because this is not like music, I think is just the

Unknown: 1:26:13

music is therapy. Actually. If you if you listen to the right kind of music now. A positive tone. Some you might want to grow to make you happiest? Because you know the energy.

Siobhan: 1:26:24

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I use music to Lupin I deal with the chronic pain injury. And so I oftentimes use music to like loop my little pain mantra onto. So it's like, if my pain is too busy, like, get into that beat, then I don't have to think about it. And I and then certain music will help like, you know, I will listen to like some genres more than others because it's like that energy vibe of that kind of music is right in kind of my sweet spot for some pain. And then it's like another pain days. I can't listen to that music or I can't listen to something that's too harsh because it's like, you. I can my body can almost feel that energy from the music.

Unknown: 1:27:02

Oh, yeah. You know, it's all it's all about the moods about those moods. You know, each song brings a different mood. Yeah. In the mood is very is very important. Because just because your mood can change in the second. Put on some Stevie Wonder and then I be relaxing. Yeah. So yeah, music music is king.

Siobhan: 1:27:33

Yeah. And so for someone like you that can create music and write music is something that like, I am tone deaf, for one and two, like just yet talent and to be able to put your whole self into something like that, I think is just something I appreciate. It's a talent that I'm always in awe of, because you do influence and you can like tap into someone so deeply with music in a different way. Definitely take a superpower

Unknown: 1:28:01

just by the size of power. It is a power. Definitely definitely. Because you can have control. Music can bring influence. And as we see like the you know, gangsta rap, that influence that was bad for the community. That was very bad. No, I used to be on that tip too. Against the top. You know, but I grew out of that style. But kids hearing that I'm hearing them little kids playing that stop cussing and talking sexually with little kids. Man, this is wild,

Siobhan: 1:28:40

man. But it's like most of that, too, is hard. Because most of those guys are rapping about their real life. So it's like, or not most, I guess, some some of those. Some of those guys are friend. But you know, it's i That's why I always think it's like, music is so personal. For the most part. But yeah, but I agree that gangsta rap did kind of hurt a lot. Of course,

Unknown: 1:29:05

of course, because I remember when I was younger, and I was listening to it, and I say to myself, Why are black kids into this gangsta rap music? I asked myself that Why am I in two hours like what happened here? So and when I start thinking like that, that was like when I'm chained down it's the beginning of me seeking myself right right you know, I mean, it's like this is this is this is strange, but I still was doing it but I'm still trying to understand why is it happening? And I may so as I grew, then I understood right now I got it. It's all bad. Talking about killing people and stuff, man. I still do talk about well,

Siobhan: 1:29:53

I'm boy,

Unknown: 1:29:53

I'm more I'm more I'm more like, I'm be honest. I am a soldier and I And I'm a righteous soldier too. So if I do talk about some violence is only because it's being towards those that is hostile. That's it,

Siobhan: 1:30:10

right? It's like appropriately directed,

Unknown: 1:30:15

right? Appropriately directed exactly to who needs it, right. So other than that, I'm not going around Trump. I'm a tough guy. You know, being a soldier is like, for me, when I consider myself as a soldier, I never been in the military. But for me, a soldier is somebody who shows respect. These are the attributes is called respect, integrity, compassion, love, you know, but then there's that other side to where we do as soldiers got a job to do if necessary. That's it.

Siobhan: 1:30:56

violence isn't? How do I want to say that? Violence is an option, but not your first go to

Unknown: 1:31:05

right, right. Exactly. Exactly. So you know, that's me being a soldier. I'm always wearing boots. You know, man, I wear camouflage. Camouflage, man, you've been in the military? No. Usually imagination. That's all I tell. You find out yourself. Just think body why you think I look like this? Yeah. Because that's just who I am. So I tell them I am a soldier for the Most High Low, you know, I mean, I'm one of them soldiers. So I will die and kill for what's right. That's it. That's it.

Siobhan: 1:31:43

I think that's a valiant thing to strive for.

Unknown: 1:31:47

Man. I mean, we got to have people like this because this is insane people out here.

Siobhan: 1:31:52

Yeah. And you need people that will respectfully step in when need to be and say like, Hey, that's not right. And this is, you know, and safely and like you said, like, you're not going for violence. That's not your first thought. That's not your first action. Like, if it gets to that point, you will end it, but you won't start it. Wow, no

Unknown: 1:32:10

stars share our few to be a shitstorm. But I want to finish it if you want to go there. Right. You know, like, let me tell you, I used to hang with some very bad boys in Oakland once upon a time, right? That's probably like 16. So I get a phone call. Like, Hey, man, would you come ride with us? I was like, Okay, I don't really know what's going on. But I'll just go ride with these crazy cats in the desert straight riders and these dogs and right so we go somewhere. Dang, tell him what's going on. But I see guns is round two, right? And it's probably like 10 carloads of cats, you know. Now these cats what they go do is they go to other street corners and want to get them boys off the street corner so they could set up their corner there. So the edge is starting to shoot out. So I was involved in St. Bob. I wasn't a shooter, but I was dead right. And I got shot. Oh, shit. See, because the opposition was shooting with a 12 gauge. So you know we shoot a 12 gauge you know, Buck shots come out yet I got hit in the head. Oh, right. I believe. Oh, my God, you let me know. So I had the buckshot sitting right here for a minute. So you know, as last night I get that out. So I'm only 16 Welcome to my mama, man. I gotta tell you what this is. Right. So I lied to her. I didn't want to tell her I was around that shit, man. I shouldn't cool, right. So I told her I shot a BB gun. The BB bounced off the wall came back. You know, so I had to go get surgery. Right? So he took it out. And it couldn't be capsule is like your baby. So when I looked at the baby, you know, you can see the love. No, no, baby, right? I'm glad Karpeles either.

Siobhan: 1:34:04

Yeah, you're kind of lucky. They

Unknown: 1:34:05

did. Right? Right. Right. You're lucky. Right? They know they know baby. Because you know, khopoli blah. Well, we're where are you? How did you get this? Right?

Siobhan: 1:34:14

Where's the BB gun? This came out of that I don't know. Yeah. Hit me in the face and I threw it away.

Unknown: 1:34:28

Right but but I was you know what? So you know, as I'm trying to find myself in that period, my baby mama. I had a baby on the way too, right? I'm only 1670s I got a baby on the way I'm hanging with these boys. People get shot down and there's a black on black crime too. So like I'm saying, part of my path of understanding was being in that situation and seeing this right. I can't do this. So I got away from it right? I got away from because then I know what it is. I experienced it. So then the boys who I was hanging with when he was doing it, they got rich from selling drugs, right? Big houses, cars. And then I you know, I was walking down the street and dad come and pull up. Oh, yeah, what's up, man? We don't you want this car dude? No, I'm good. All of them boys now they either dead or in jail. Yeah. And I'm free. Smart move right?

Siobhan: 1:35:32

Yeah marry right right

Unknown: 1:35:33

cuz I was using my head man I was my mind was somewhere else because their mind was only on one thing I have plenty to think about you know me I'm like I gotta look up these options here if I keep hanging with them I might get killed out right?

Siobhan: 1:35:50

Yeah or you're in jail Yeah cuz you can't be swinging like that and not expect to get caught up in something in something either something right and something right now is either gonna be the cops or another guy.

Unknown: 1:36:03

I let that shit go now they did on jail and shit. I did the right move now one of my homies he'd been in jail since 96. Right? And he's still in here. So before he went medium had a conversation one day, right? We was in one of my friends, childhood friends, he played NBA, right? So we was in his backyard talking one day. So me and my friend. He said he worship the devil, right? He's a devil worshiper. He said, The devil gave me cards. The devil gave me a house and all my money. He's a gardener. He gave me nothing, man. I said, Man, you wrong. I say I'm telling you, the devil going to do to you. He said. I said he's gonna backstab you hang on backs by me. And so one day, we was in Los Angeles, me and my friends because we shouldn't have music video in Los Angeles, right? So we watching the news. We were in a hotel room and watching the news and is losing in Oakland and we see a car on the freeway being chased by like 100 police cars, right? I'm looking at that car like, hold on. To the TV. I like I just want him cuz I was hanging right there. Right. So we got getting on the phone trying to see what's going on. It's not right. To damage her. When they finally caught up with him. They shot him like 13 times oh shit and beating after they shot him. And then when the ambulance came, they didn't drive off. They stayed there for like a few more hours right? But they finally took him down he bet he when he went to jail. So some years went by and as cousin I was right. He happened to call and I'm there so Hey, man, I want to talk to you. I mean, how you doing? Hey, what's up bro? He's uh you know what I'm saying one thing and this guy's a big boss in his email said one thing she do you about the only cat I really can't respect our deer because that conversation we had and you told me that you was 100% Right I told you bro No, I told you man don't don't mess with Satan man. He gonna backstab you he said he did to shot me 13 times

Siobhan: 1:38:25

back right he's lucky he lived like

Unknown: 1:38:29

and then and then we in their data race right in one of those prisons and he got staff all time still living

Siobhan: 1:38:36

holy shit boy boy you got like what nine legs for left shot 13 times and then stabbed for four wow and he's been in jail that this all these all these

Unknown: 1:38:54

years since 96 Now I heard he could have got out but he keep getting called with phones right put the phone down and get out man Are you a

Siobhan: 1:39:08

12 year old girl put that phone down for one week

Unknown: 1:39:18

Right right right man I hope you get out one day no you know me Did his time you know me but the reason why he went in there though because he probably a shadow a fan. These were some heavy cats

Siobhan: 1:39:35

you were like on a razor wire have gone either way then like you're in the car for drive bys or you know that shootout you know like that's a the fact that you pulled yourself back away from that especially because I can imagine like that money and stuff is so tempting. So it goes back to you just being disciplined and that self knowledge of like, No, I could do this but it's going to only give me this where if I do this then I can get XY and Z and have like a better life. You had that kind of forethought, which is. Exactly. And you stood up to the peer pressure of. I'm sure you guys been like, come on, come on. You can make money. You know, like you're like, yeah,

Unknown: 1:40:15

not even faze me. Because already, you know, I have my mind already made a Must I made up my mind, it don't matter what you say, because I know what's right for me.

Siobhan: 1:40:24

But that's still a strong thing, like a strong gift to have. Because I make up my mind and I'm, I'll be done and then I'll be like, alright, well, this will make you happy. So me, it's not that big of a deal for me to you know, I'll sleep later tomorrow. You know, it's I am and I'm fairly disciplined. But I don't know if I would have been a little bit of saying no to like that money in that. Yeah, like that I would have FOMO

Unknown: 1:40:55

but money and everything. No, it's not even. I love my life more than money. I'll tell you that. And you know, I don't want to have nobody over no money. Yeah, that's just go get a job. Might not be rich, but at least you happy whatever it is that you have.

Siobhan: 1:41:13

Right. That's it and it gives you that added layer of safety

Unknown: 1:41:17

know exactly, exactly. Yeah. Gotta worry, you know, who's gonna come get you because of what you're doing? You know, you wait, what to solve, right? So you're just selling drugs and shooting people. You live by the gun, you die by the gun to that like, Well, for me, you know, I made I made a lot of bad decisions in my life. And I made a lot of good ones too. As it's like,

Siobhan: 1:41:42

yeah, it is. Yeah, and sometimes I think we get too into like, the judgment of our decisions like this decisions, either good or bad, or that one's either gonna be good or bad. And it's like, they're just different paths. Like, you could choose one that you thought was gonna be the bad one. It turns out to be the best one or you choose one that you're like, This is it. This is the best path ever. Everything's gonna be golden after this. And then you're like, Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. This was way worse. Like, and then I think some people get caught up in like that course correction where they're like, but I already made this decision. So I can't change it. But it seems like you've been able to pivot when you needed to. Really well.

Unknown: 1:42:24

Luckily, because, you know, I always been a little boy. You know what, I grew up. I used to go to church. All my all free will as a little kid. Like, like, when Sunday's came? Well, where my mom will wake up when a family wake up, I've gone. So when I go home I by way you now my church? At church right, right, right. So So that right there, you know was was the start also, you know, give me that brain food that I needed. Yeah, me suppose I can grow. It's like a seed being planted. So I blossomed, eventually. Because, you know, I was like reading the Bible and stuff like that when I was a kid. And you know, I was the type of kid to go around like, my grandmother lived around old people. So when I go visit my grandma to go would not knock on a door. It's like, can I take the garbage out? Do you need me to do anything? Not even asking for nothing, but I just asked him and I'm like, Yeah, I do this if you come here every Wednesday I give you 75 cents. Okay, gotcha. I'm gonna follow people.

Siobhan: 1:43:37

That's smart. Where a hustler?

Unknown: 1:44:02

That's, that's who I am.

Siobhan: 1:44:03

Yeah. Yeah. And I think the world is better to have you in it.

Unknown: 1:44:10

You know, a friend, a friend, a friend of mine in Norway said, Hey, man, if people in the world thought like you, I think we have peace out here.

Siobhan: 1:44:19

There you go. Yeah.

Unknown: 1:44:20

He always say that to me, too. Because he see I've never driven

Siobhan: 1:44:24

right. Yeah, every time I've seen you've got a smile on your face. And even I've seen you one night when at the bar when some guy was kind of pushing your buttons and I saw you do just like walk away and you're like, yeah, that didn't faze you, man. That guy's a loser. Like

Unknown: 1:44:43

I don't want to share my energy with you. That's what you got to offer. Yeah. You're you're not worthy of my conversation. To get it right, you know, I could I could drop some gems. Sorry, but you're not worthy.

Siobhan: 1:45:01

Yeah. Cuz they probably they wouldn't be able to take it anyway

Unknown: 1:45:04

anyway. Right, right. Exactly.

Siobhan: 1:45:08

I think your friend from Norway is right. We'd more people thinking the way that you do in the world that would be better place

Unknown: 1:45:12

it would do I think so too mad because you know, I want to do is have fun and see my friends have fun like if I if my friends ain't got and I got they're gonna have because I got you know, man and I don't expect nothing back either. I mean you got some money and I got my aka adult as well.

Siobhan: 1:45:31

Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Because like you said you reap what you sow. So if you put out the good, you'll get the good back.

Unknown: 1:45:40

Exactly, exactly. And you know, he's been coming back, though.

Siobhan: 1:45:44

Good. It's gonna keep coming back to not box. And the booty drop. Box woody box. All right. Well, Raymond, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having Yeah. And we will look forward to hearing all your music and seeing those music videos. Oh, sure. Sure. All right, I'll have a good day. So you guys can all look forward to seeing this not box music video in a few weeks. I will definitely be posting that on the IG once it comes out and on Facebook. Link into that, because I know y'all want to check that out. We'll also link to all ravens music in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening. Join us next week, hit us on the social media. Let us know what you think of this episode and all the other episodes. Don't forget to rate review and subscribe to the podcast. Check out our website at tackling reality.com And remember that the good stuff is coming. Keep an eye out for the joy in life. If you're having trouble just stumbling upon it. Then go find that fucking joy. Make some create some set yourself up for success. Look for the good. Take the bad as it comes and help find your community and if you can't find one, build one. Join ours. Love to you all. Have a great day. And we'll see you next week.